Woebegone Stupidity

I never cared much for Garrison Keillor and I have even less use for him now. Either he's trying to be funny in this piece and failing miserably or he's a really stupid man. I suspect it's the latter (h/t to James Taranto at Opinion Journal).

It's obvious he doesn't like Rudy Giuliani. That's fine. His choice. But he has some really weird fascination with a skit performed by Giuliani at a banquet in 2000, which was widely seen at the time and, quite frankly, it showed people Giuliani had a sense of humor

Rudolph Giuliani is running for president, it would seem, and watching his interviews reminds you that it is quite a leap from City Hall to the White House, and that the lecture circuit is not the best preparation for higher office. Out there, Mr. Giuliani is saying the same applause lines night after night, but in a TV studio, even with the friendly folks at Fox News, the lines sound overpracticed.

Quite a leap from Mayor of New York? As opposed to, say, leaping from the Illinois State Senate to running for President just over two years later? Or from being First Lady and fulltime shrew to Senator in one leap?

What the former New York City mayor wants to talk about is Sept. 11, 2001, and standing tough against terror and how important it is to win the war in Iraq, but people are either opposed to the war or sick of hearing about it.

Either opposed to winning or sick of hearing about it? How about a third category--People who want to destroy Islamofascism? Maybe a bit nuanced for someone so sheltered from the outside world like Keillor, but really, it's a silly semantic game to just say everyone is opposed to it or sick of it.

Meanwhile, he has to dance around the subjects of abortion and gay rights as he adjusts a Manhattan point of view to something that will pass muster in South Carolina. It is never pretty, watching a politician revise himself in full view, and Mr. Giuliani is revising like mad.

Funny, but when it comes to abortion, there certainly isn't any room for dissent on the left side of the aisle. Again though, note how the Democrats are obsessing on the GOP primary, reminding us of Giuliani's social positions, as if we're so stupid we didn't avail ourselves to this information. I'm also starting to think the people of South Carolina are tiring of being considered a bunch of Neanderthals. These bigoted liberals, always reminding us about tolerance.

And then there is that video.

Back in 2000, for a City Hall roast, Mr. Giuliani got himself dolled up in drag and made a video in which Donald Trump flirts with him and kisses his breasts. It's included in a new movie, "Giuliani Time," and you can see it on YouTube just by typing "Giuliani in drag" into the search box.

Say what you will about the Current Occupant, there is no video out there of him waltzing around in a long lavender gown and a brassiere, and blond wig, while an aging tycoon nuzzles his chest. He may have sunk low back in his drinking days, but he managed to keep his adventures private. I doubt that Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney or Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.) ever donned women's apparel for the cameras.

Hey, that's really cute--Current Occupant. I wonder if he had help with that one. But back to the video: Let me remind Keillor of something: It's a skit, you moron. So Giuliani dressed up in drag for a skit? What is your point?

The babbling continues.

This is not a major issue. The Giuliani candidacy is going to bring up once again his record as mayor and his failure, having taken office not long after the World Trade Center bombing of 1993, to do much of anything to protect the city from another attack and to coordinate fire and police radio communications, a doable thing in the age of electronics that would have saved countless lives.

First of all, Giuliani was sworn into office January 1, 1994. The first WTC attack was February 26, 1993. Little bit of a time gap. Needless to say, David Dinkins didn't do anything and second, what exactly could Giuliani have done as the Mayor of New York to round up al Qaeda and Osama bin Laden? Better yet, what did Bill Clinton do? I don't think Keillor wants to answer that.

He then gets back to his strange curiousity with the video.

Mr. Giuliani should put the issue behind him by answering a few questions: (1) How much did he have to drink that night, and what was he drinking? (2) Whose idea was it--his own or an aide's? If the latter, was there wagering involved and how much was bet? (3) Were the garments new or used, and who picked them out? And was he wearing male or female underthings? (4) On a scale of 1 to 10, how good did he feel in that dress?

Very weird. Maybe Rudy should put on an ill-fitting pantsuit and talk out of all three sides of his mouth. Keillor would probably find him instantly qualified to be President.