Poem for Saint Goracle

An ode to the divine rock star at the American Thinker. Who knew the man was so inspiring? Meanwhile, did you know global warming will make you healthy and sexy?

In the spirit of the world campaign to save polar bears and buy carbon indulgences to assuage our collective guilt, it is vital to point out that published scientific studies also make a case for driving more, burning more coal, and breeding more flatulent cows. The reason: Global warming will make you happier, healthier and even sexier.

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But wait, there is much more news in the Land of the Goracle. Planet Gore notes two British scientists have staked a claim to the $25 million prize offered up by Gore and Richard Branson, which would go to the person who comes up with the best way of removing significant amounts of carbon dioxide from the atmosphere. Good luck getting them to pay up.

We're not done yet. In fact, with Saint Goracle, the hits just keep coming. Hot Air links to a story out of Nashville, home of one of Gore's four mansions, that the rock star had an airport security breach. Just an accident, of course. Not looking for any special privileges.

Wednesday at the Nashville Airport, Gore arrived with two others and airport. Sgt. Gary Glover with airport police waited for his arrival and to go through security.

"He made his way to security, waiting for him to come through the check area, then he saw him pop up past security in a sterile area," Lowrance said.

Gore and his group bypassed the metal detectors, a blatant security breach. Lowrance said an American Airlines employee took Gore around security directly to the gate.

"Everyone who comes through this public airport terminal must be screened, so it's a breach of rules. It's serious," Lowrance said.

Finally, Iowahawk will not go quietly into the darkened night, as he makes the audacious claim to leaving a bigger carbon footprint that the Goracle. He might want to keep that to himself in case the eco-police come calling.

Frankly, I'm a little miffed at all the attention Al Gore has received recently for his supposed "wasteful" energy use. Because when it comes to stomping a new carbon-hole in our fragile planet I take a back seat to no man, including our famously jet-set former Veep. Consider the just-expired month, in which I set a new personal best in mindless resource consumption: 6000 miles in air travel, 2500 miles by ground (including a memorable joy ride to the Merrill Ice Drags), and a trailer thermostat permanently locked in at a toasty 85 degrees Farenheit. Top that, Al!