Time to Trim the 'Family Tree'

In a pathetic attempt at not offending non-Christians, retail giant Lowe's decided offending Christians was just fine, and now they're under fire for trying to sell Christmas trees as family trees.

Not that I'd be buying a tree at Lowe's anyway, but now I'll be sure to skip them altogether.

Mooresville-based Lowe's Companies Inc. apologized this week after becoming ensnared in what has become an annual debate over whether retailers should specifically refer to Christmas in their advertisements.

The home improvement retailer's 2007 holiday catalog triggered an outcry from the American Family Association, a conservative advocacy group, because Christmas trees were on a page entitled "Family Trees."

Over the years, the association has led boycotts against Wal-Mart and other retailers for using the catchall "happy holidays" in its advertisements and greetings instead of "Merry Christmas."

This year the association posted an "action alert" on its Web site, asking readers to e-mail Lowe's about the trees.

"Lowe's evidently did not want to offend any non-Christians, therefore they replaced `Christmas Tree' with `Family Tree,'" the association's Web site said. "Of course, if Christians are offended, that is evidently ok."

Lowe's spokeswoman Karen Cobb said the page's title was an error and inconsistent with the company's practice of referring to the trees as Christmas trees. She said the intention was to convey that family traditions often begin with a Christmas tree.

Cobb said the company is redoubling its efforts to proof its catalogs.

Meanwhile, in other lunacy, mall Santas in Sydney, Australia are being asked to refrain from uttering the grievously offensive "ho ho ho" so as not to offend prostitutes.

SYDNEY, Australia — He is an unlikely revolutionary, but this Christmas, Santa is a rebel with a claus.

He is having the last laugh on political correctness — and it's a great big fat belly laugh.

Santas across Sydney, Australia, are rebelling against attempts to ban their traditional greeting of "ho, ho, ho" in favor of "ha, ha, ha."

Recruitment firm Westaff — which supplies hundreds of Santas across the country — has told its trainees that the "ho ho ho" phrase could frighten children and could even be derogatory to women.

Two Santa hopefuls reportedly quit the course because of the hullabaloo of the ho, ho, ho.

One would-be Santa has told The Daily Telegraph he was taught not to use "ho, ho, ho" because it was too close to the American slang for prostitute. He also quit.

"Gimme a break," said Julie Gale, who runs a campaign against sexualizing children called Kids Free 2B Kids. "We are talking about little kids who do not understand that 'ho, ho, ho' has any other connotation, and nor should they."

Nothing like getting a five-week head start on the annual Christmas PC silliness.

Wait until the PC thought police find out I tell my boy the story of the three wise ho's.