And He Lived To Tell About It

You've got to be kidding me, right?

Apparently not.

Many an adolescent boy, hormones raging, has succumbed to the siren song of a hump-able inanimate object (the mattress cushion, a toilet paper roll or in one cinematic instance, a pie). But let's hope they learn a lesson from the 41-year-old Hong Kong man who almost lost his penis as a result of intercourse with a steel park bench.

Xing (pictured in his compromising situation) was apparently feeling lonely in the park late at night when he decided to attempt to satisfy his sexual appetites by inserting his penis into one of numerous small holes in a steel park bench. Apparently ignorant of spatial realities, it wasn't until he was aroused that he realized he could no longer extract his manhood from the bench, panicked and called the police.

Here I thought you couldn't top this loser.

Via Hot Air.