'Rather's Position Defies Logic and Common Sense'

The sorry saga of a punch drunk has-been drags out in court, as the man who tried to sway a presidential election pathetically pursues a payday while flinging about zany conspiracy theories.

Welcome to the bizarro world of Dan Rather.

Dan Rather's conspiracy theories about CBS make about as much sense as a two-story outhouse, the network says.

Rather and his old bosses were facing off in Manhattan Supreme Court yesterday, where the former Evening News anchor was seeking documents he says will prove his storied career there was sacrificed to appease the Bush administration.

Rather's lawyer Martin Gold maintained the fix was in once CBS hired a panel to investigate a discredited story on President Bush's Vietnam-era service in the Texas Air National Guard, and thousands of documents being suppressed by a law firm that did work for the panel will show the report in a new light.

The panel's report found the story - which aired two months before the 2004 presidential election - was flawed, and should have been more heavily scrutinized by CBS before being put on the air.

"We allege this was a sham investigation on be half of CBS so they could mollify the right" and get rid of Rather, who'd been a thorn in Bush's side, Gold said.

That notion alone, that a network in this day and age would cater to the right, is patently absurd. Heck, even a former CBS newsman, Bernie Goldberg, laid out the bias for all the world to see in his books.

In their court filings, CBS states, "Rather's position defies logic and common sense."

"Rather's theory is that CBS News commissioned a costly panel, in order to criticize itself, exonerate Dan Rather, and give themselves cover for doing something that it had a contractual right to do anyway," which is remove Rather from his anchor seat, the filing says.

CBS lawyer Jim Quinn said that while the report found Rather did nothing wrong, it "excoriated CBS."

"If that's a sham, it's the dumbest sham I've ever heard of," Quinn said.

No, the dumbest sham is a court is even hearing this case.