Can't We Just Enjoy An Artery-Clogging Burger in Peace?

When we showed you this monstrosity last week our only lament was it didn't have bacon on it. Of course in the back of my mind I just knew some mamby-pamby health-conscious types would snivel, whine and try to get themseleves some free pub on the back of this promotional gimmick.

Well, sure enough, here come the health Nazis trying to ruin the fun for everyone, accompanied by the headline of the day from the Associated Press.

Warning sought for burger the size of your head

The West Michigan Whitecaps say they have no plans to put a warning label on an enormous new hamburger they're selling this season — despite a vegan advocacy group's request to do just that.

Susan Levin, a staff dietitian for the Washington-based Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine, sent a letter to the Grand Rapids minor-league team on Tuesday. She's asking that the 4,800-calorie burger be labeled a "dietary disaster" that increases the risk of cancer and heart disease.

Oh yeah, just what I need while I'm at the ballpark looking to crush a few beers and pound some food: warnings that I may get heart disease.

Talk about a buzzkill.

Memo to the Physicians Committee: We know this isn't a healthy item. Nobody is going to subsist on these every day. They made a point of noting it's made for at least four people to share.

Now go away.

Oh, and get a life. And while you're at it, make sure you don't ever do anything I might disagree with, otherwise I'll come over your house and nitpick your miserable existence.