'I Am So Sad, I Don't Even Know What To Say'

When in doubt, marry the rich broad.

Blondes have more fun, but brunettes get the world's oldest teenager.

Archie is spurning longtime love Betty and proposing to Veronica in August's "Archie" No. 600.

"Yes!" Veronica Lodge yells on the cover of the comic as Archie Andrews slips a diamond ring on her finger and Betty Cooper looks on in tears.

"I am so sad, I don't even know what to say," the blonde says on the Archie Comics Web site in a blog post titled "Saddest Girl in the World!"

The self-involved Veronica, meanwhile, writes: "I am so excited, I am getting married to Archie . . . I wonder if Betty wants to be my maid of honor? I bet she is so happy for me!"

Betty probably should just wait it out. Archie will dump Veronica, get half her money and come crawling back. It's the Amwerican way.