Maybe We Should Ask to See His Birth Certificate

His memory has clearly been faulty for some time since he's always "forgetting" to pay his taxes or recall exactly how many rent-controlled apartments he's got. Well now New York's Charlie Rangel apparently doesn't even know when his birthday is.

According to his birth certificate, Rep. Charles Rangel (D-N.Y.) turned 80 this past Friday. But according to Rangel, his birthday is sometime in August. He’s just not sure when.

“As far as I’m concerned, my birthday is the day of my big summer fundraiser,” he told ITK. “I just can’t remember the exact date of it this year.”

He explained that the moving-target birthday had evolved out of political necessity. “You see, for years the Democratic primaries in New York always used to be held the second week of June, and you know, nobody wants to celebrate right before a primary, all stressed out, so I just canceled my birthday every year until I stopped even thinking about it.”

The late-summer party is a perfect way to make up for lost merrymaking. “Now my daughters, and even my sister, will call me up and say, ‘Charlie, when’s your birthday this year?’ ”

But the big issue this year wasn’t when. It was where.

“For years, I held a big party at Tavern on the Green,” Rangel recalled, shaking his head nostalgically, “but they went under last year, which was such a shame."

Aw, poor thing. Now he'll just have to find another place where taxpayers can pick up the tab.

It's not as if he can't afford it.

Don't feel too bad for Rep. Charles Rangel.

The Harlem Democrat has an investment fund worth between $250,000 and $500,000, and four investment accounts valued at $100,001 to $250,000 each, according to financial reports for 2009 that were released yesterday.

He's got three other investment funds worth between $15,001 and $50,000, and another one worth $50,001 to $100,000.

Plus, he raked in as much as $15,000 in rent from his beach villa at Punta Cana, in the Dominican Republic.

His failure to report that rental income or pay taxes on it spurred a House ethics investigation that's still ongoing.