Al Gore: 'Crazed Sex Poodle'

You can bet your last cent if this were a Republican the howls of cover-up would be echoing across the land. But since it is he who shall save the planet, nothing will happen. All we now know for sure is the public Al Gore sure as heck looks a lot different that what appears to be a lurid, sinister abuser of women. For shame, Manbearpig, for shame.

A Portland massage therapist gave local police a detailed statement last year alleging that former Vice President Al Gore groped her, kissed her and made unwanted sexual advances during a late-night massage session in October 2006 in a suite at the upscale Hotel Lucia.

The woman told investigators that she informed two friends and kept the clothes she wore that night, including her black pants with stains on them. But Portland police didn't contact any of the woman's friends, obtain the potential evidence or interview anyone at the hotel, records show.

"The case was not investigated any further because detectives concluded there was insufficient evidence to support the allegations," the Portland Police Bureau said in a prepared statement Wednesday, responding to inquiries from all over the world after the National Enquirer broke the story on its website.

In her detailed Jan. 8, 2009, statement to a Portland sexual assault investigator, the woman said she was called to the hotel about 10:30 p.m. Oct. 24, 2006, to provide a massage for Gore, who was registered under the name "Mr. Stone." Once inside his ninth-floor suite, she said he pushed her hand to his groin, fondled her buttocks and breasts, tongue-kissed her and threw her down on the bed as she tried to thwart his advances.

She also said Gore had finished a beer and opened a bottle of Grand Marnier while she was in the room.

While the Police Bureau considers it a closed case, it said it would reopen it if new evidence is received.

Portland police spokeswoman Detective Mary Wheat said police didn't go to the hotel or talk to the woman's friends because it wouldn't help prove or disprove the woman's allegations.

"We're not disputing Al Gore was in the hotel room with this woman," Wheat said. "The two people in that room were Mr. Gore and this woman. If a bellhop came in and saw something, that would be different."

The Multnomah County district attorney's office was aware that the woman's attorney filed a complaint with police about two months after the encounter, but the woman didn't show up for three scheduled interviews with police investigators. At that time, police were told the woman didn't want to proceed with a criminal case and would pursue a civil case instead.

The details are almost too much to contemplate and we may now have a new nickname for Gore.

While giving Gore an abdominal massage, she said he demanded that she go lower and soon grabbed her right hand and shoved it under the sheet.

"I felt like I was dancing on the edge of a razor," she told Detective Molly Daul.

She tried to use an acupressure technique to relax Gore and thought she may have nearly put him to sleep. She went into the bathroom to wash up and came out to pack up.

That's when, she says, Gore wrapped her in an "inescapable embrace" and fondled her back, buttocks and breasts as she was trying to break down her massage table.

She called him a "crazed sex poodle" and tried to distract him, pointing out a box of Moonstruck chocolates on a nearby table. He went for the chocolates and then offered her some, cornering her, fondling her and shoving his tongue in her mouth to french kiss as he pressed against her.

She said he tried to pull her camisole strap down.

She said she told him to stop it. "I was distressed, shocked and terrified."

She said she was intimidated by his physical size, calling him "rotund," described his "violent temper, dictatorial, commanding attitude" -- what she termed a contrast from his "Mr. Smiley global-warming concern persona."

Later, she said, he tried to lure her into the bedroom to hear pop star Pink's "Dear Mr. President" on his iPod dock. She said Gore sat on one end of the bed and motioned for her to join him.

Suddenly, she said, he "flipped me on my back, threw his whole body face down over a top me, pinning me down."

She said she loudly protested, "Get off me, you big lummox!"

The therapist said she injured her left leg and knee and sought medical care for several months.

The therapist later told detectives she did not call the police because she was afraid she wouldn't be believed. "I deeply feared being made into a public spectacle and my work reputation being destroyed," she said.

Obviously all the NOW crowd and women's rights advocates will soon be denouncing Gore and offering to assist the woman, right?