What's In a Name?

Well, I don't feel so bad for having an odd moniker now.

Potty parents nationwide must have either been bonkers or just plain cruel according to his findings.

His new book lists 3,000 of the most unfortunate titles including Ben Dover, Anna Sassin, Pete Sake, Rusty Pipes, Rhoda Broom, Joy Rider, Justin Case, John Thomas Willy and Sandy Beach.

Pat Fenis is a just a spoonerism away from vulgarity and Eva Faithful is included as is Bonk Register, Booby Ogle and Wiggy Piggy and one Lancashire-born baby named Wooloomooloo Roscoe.

There is a Zaiboom McDoom, Elle Fant, Don Key, Eileen Dover, Ura Buffalo, Wanton Coward, Smallpox Tommy and a boy called Tom Tom who probably never got lost!

Others include Placenta Hightshoe, Plegm Click, Hysteria Johnson and Lallu Lala Lad, along with Love Reading, Lovely Day, Lucious Bacon, Tiny Man and Young Love.

The pages also list Wee Girlie Potter, Womble Scoggins, Jangle Bowles, Gush Treacle, Grunt Little, Dong Dong, Ping Pong, Rip Van Wonkis, Fizzy Allgood and spare a thought for Pedor File.

Ophelia Balls was likely to have been ribbed at school and Pearl E Gates and Olive Branch might be unfortunate but Mary Zarse, Ed Banger, Isaac Balls and Etta Lott all raise a smile.

The book, "Frou-Frou, Frisby and Brick", is a fifth former's treasure trove of innuendo and lavatorial humour.

In the book Juan King rubs shoulders with Dick Bellend, while Eric Schon and Randy Bumgardner cause titters.

There is also a chapter of those who have deliberately changed their names which include Daniel Westfallen who is now called Happy Adjustable Spanners.

George Garratt is now known as Captain Fantastic Faster Than Superman Spiderman Batman Wolverine The Hulk And The Flash Combined.

Gary Brett changed his name to Hong Kong Phooey and Steven Lane is now Jellyfish McSavaloy.

Martin Smith wasn't satisfied with his name and is now Martin Felix Oddsocks McWeirdo El-Tooty Fruity Farto Hello Hippopotamus Bum.