It's Come to This: Florida Democrat Files Criminal Complaint Over a Handshake

Call a Waaahmbulance

You've got to be kidding me.

A firm handshake is usually seen as a good thing in business and even in politics.

Not so much in South Florida. A candidate for the Broward County School Board wants the cops to lock up her opponent after what she claims was akin to battery after a recent debate.

Jaemi Levine filed a complaint with the Broward Sheriff's Office claiming David Thomas squeezed her hand so hard during a post-debate handshake Tuesday that it now hurts.

Instead of getting a grip on education issues, Thomas decided to get a grip on his opponent for the Disctrict 4 seat.

Levine alleges Thomas was upset that she outclassed him during the debate in Tamarac, which led to the Kung Fu-grip handshake and a few mumbled harsh words to get his point across.

"Don't ever question my integrity again," Thomas allegedly told Levine as he delivered the crunching handshake.

Thomas, a social science teacher at J.P. Taravella High School and a retired U.S. Navy Lt. Commander, told the Sun-Sentinel the story is non-sense and he didn't purposely injure Levine.

The story doesn't mention her party affiliation, but you just know no self-respecting Republicans would whine like this.

Sure enough, she's identified here as a Democrat. She's apparently too lazy to even answer questions for this voter guide. A commenter at the original story link notes Levine pals around with the odious Debbie Wasserman-Schulz. Figures.