You're My Ego Wall: John Kerry Voted Most Vain Senator

Not only is he the most smug, arrogant, condescending prick in Washington, he's also won the vanity prize.

Sen. John Kerry is so vain, he probably thinks this story is about him . . . and he’d be right!

Slate.com has named the skipper of the Isabel the most vain man in that vanity pit known as the U.S. Senate based on a “scientific analysis” of all 100 senators’ “Ego Walls.”

In a posting headed “If the Walls Could Talk,” Slate writers Darren Garnick (who also writes “The Working Stiff” column for the Herald) and Ilya Mirman explored the photo displays on the waiting-room walls of each senator’s office and developed a “Senate Vanity Index.” The formula, developed by Mirman, an engineer and scientist, measures the level of egotism displayed in each senator’s lobby based on how many pictures the solon has of himself (or herself) glad-handing celebrities, world leaders and the like.

“When do a few photos or plaques transmogrify into a self-aggrandizing shrine?” ask the writers. “Where is the line between modest pride and out-of-control egomania?”

Well, wherever it is, apparently Kerry crossed it! His ego wall — featuring pics of the senior senator with, among others, President Obama, the Dalai Lama, Bono, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Norman Schwarzkopf, Kofi Annan, Mikhail Gorbachev, John Glenn, Nicolas Sarkozy, Tip O’Neill, Colin Powell, Ted Kennedy, Ronald Reagan, George W. Bush and more — is “the most enormous in Washington,” says the site.

“Kerry’s office is one of the last ones we found,” Mirman told the Track. “When we walked in, we kind of looked at each other and said, ‘Jackpot!’ As Garnick said, it looked like he pre-built his presidential library. He had more than 100 photos of himself with various celebrities.”

Garnick later visited Kerry’s office in Boston and surprise, surprise, found another 31 pics of Mr. Teresa Heinz gracing the waiting-room walls.

Mirman said he wasn’t exactly surprised to find the most egotistical guy in the Senate is from Massachusetts but he was surprised that Kerry didn’t appear to get it.

“These guys work so hard to craft their images and Kerry always gets this rap as an elitist, but you know, you can control what’s in your own lobby!”

We're surprised he didn't name his luxury yacht after himself.