Elvis Costello: Self-Righteous Douchebag of the Day

Oh, I just don't know where to begin. How about with this: Shut up and sing, Elvis. Nobody gives a rat's ass what you think of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict.

Singer Elvis Costello has pulled out of two gigs in Israel due to concerns over the Israeli-Palestinian conflict.

The musician, who was due to perform later this summer, said: "Having your name added to a concert schedule may be interpreted as a political act."

Costello said his decision was "a matter of instinct and conscience" and "too grave and complex" to be addressed at a concert.

He apologised to ticket holders and event organisers.

The songwriter also said sorry to Israeli journalists who have interviewed him in advance of the concerts.

"They were of great value and help to me in gaining an appreciation of the cultural scene," he said.

In a statement on his website, Costello explained: "I must believe that the audience for the coming concerts would have contained many people who question the policies of their government on settlement and deplore conditions that visit intimidation, humiliation or much worse on Palestinian civilians in the name of national security.

"I am also keenly aware of the sensitivity of these themes in the wake of so many despicable acts of violence perpetrated in the name of liberation."

This great humanitarian has zero concern, apparently, for the Israeli people living under a constant state of siege from the maniacs surrounding them who wish death and annihilation upon them. His concern for their tormentors, it seems, is much more grave.

He said that in the end his conscience and instinct told him that if these themes were "too grave and complex" to be addressed in concert, "then it is also quite impossible to look the other way."

Too grave and complex. Heavy, man.

Pantsuit Turns 60, Greedy Minions Count the Ca$h

She doesn't look a day over 59.

Well, I used to like Elvis Costello. Now that he's groveling before this horrible woman, he won't be in the rotation much longer.

"Happy Birthday, Mrs. President," crooned Costello, echoing Marilyn Monroe's serenade of President Kennedy.

I think I'm going to puke.

Does she really think anyone believes she's a Yankee fan?

Apparently, mini-actor Billy Crystal is slurping that Koolaid.

Clinton, standing under three giant pictures of herself, took the stage with a dig at Rudy Giuliani, the Yankees fan who said last week that he's rooting for the Red Sox in the World Series.

"I have been a fan -- and I remain a fan -- of the Yankees, no changes, no looking to curry favor with anybody else," said Clinton, turning the tables on the mayor, who has derided her loyalty to the team as political pandering.

Crystal made repeated references to Giuliani's baseball flip-flop, saying it was like Ann Coulter declaring she's kosher.

Wow, what a yukfest. Maybe some day she'll actually show up at Yankee Stadium. Perhaps when they schedule Chinese Dishwasher Day.

Now what's birthday bash without trashing some people, especially those who've got your number?

The campaign's birthday celebration offered Clinton an opportunity to reach out to older women, a group that's proven surprisingly Hillary-phobic.

"Women over 60 are going to be a tough sell for her," said Hunter College politics professor Andrew Polsky. "This is a generation of women who came of age before the era of feminism, and a higher percentage of them spent their lives as housewives who didn't have a career. To them, she's had an untraditional life and an untraditional career and that makes them uncomfortable with her."

Perhaps her nanny-state socialism has something to do with that as well.

More here.

Crystal returned after the Wallflowers, performed, and joked, "Giuliani just retracted the Red Sox thing, so now he's gonna vote for Cleveland."

An upbeat director Ron Howard said as he exited the theater that Crystal "wasn't vicious," but that the crowd was "happy to have" the joke.

Bill Clinton said his wife is "still . . . beautiful" at 60 and quipped, "She was 23 when we first met - poor child didn't know any better."

The event - where tickets ranged from $250 to $2,300 - raised $1.5 million, aides said.

Crystal's comic apex was around 1978 when he played Jody on Soap. It's been all downhill since.

By the way, is it just me or does anyone else find it unseemly that people use their birthdays to shake down campaign contributors?

Speaking of Mrs. Clinton's greed, Suitably Flip has the latest on her criminal fundraiser, Norman Hsu.