CNN Hack Jack Cafferty Submits: 'My Crush on Michelle Obama'

Oh. My. God.

This, supposedly, is an objective newsman? Good Lord.

I think I am developing a crush on America's first lady. Michelle Obama is more compelling than her husband. He's good, but she's utterly fascinating.

Mrs. Obama has blown away the stale air in a White House musty from eight years of the Bushes. It's like the sun came out and a fresh spring breeze began wafting through the open windows.

It's the people's house, and Michelle Obama totally gets it. So much so that she has taken to inviting people in from the streets to see her home. Nice touch -- one completely lacking in her recent predecessors.

Watch her when she visits a local school and you see the warmth and affection she instantly triggers in people. Kids are pretty much totally honest with very good BS-detectors. If they sense you're a phony, forget it. But around the first lady, they want to hug her and laugh with her and tell her stories.
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The Obamas bring a humanity and humility to their tasks which sets them far apart from the run-of-the mill phonies who populate Washington. It's exactly what the doctor ordered for this wounded nation.

Michelle Obama's unassuming, but dead-on, sense of style has the fashion press gushing all over itself.

Not to mention aging TV hacks with creeping dementia.

Her arms are becoming the stuff of legend. Who appears sleeveless on the cover of Vogue, let alone in front of a joint session of Congress while her husband delivers one of the most important speeches of his life? And the reviews were rave.

Cindi Leive, the editor of Glamour magazine gushed, "Oh my god! The first lady has bare arms in Congress in February at night!" If she keeps it up, Seventh Avenue will soon stop making women's clothes with sleeves.

Ok, I admit it. When it comes to the first lady, I'm smitten.

You should also admit you can never again be objective when reporting on the Obamas.

This schoolboy mush may rank as the low point in journalistic history. Chris Matthews is laughing at Cafferty.

Irony Alert: Feeble CNN Hack Says GOP Is Irrelevant

There's something oddly ironic seeing CNN has-been Jack Cafferty rail about a political party being irrelevant and calling a man six years his senior a feeble old white guy.

This week the Republicans gather for their convention. For four days, they will labor under the illusion their party is still relevant. It's not.

It is entirely fitting that the headliner for this masquerade is a feeble looking 72-year-old white guy who doesn't know how many homes he owns.

Wow, still using that homes bit? Geez, Jack, that's so two weeks ago. Freshen it up a bit.

It's more than symbolic that when a million Americans are losing their homes to foreclosure, the Republican candidate for president has lost track of his holdings.

Is he not aware they're in Cindy McCain's name? Is he really that dense?

McCain surrounds himself with people like former Republican Sen. Phil Gramm who called America a "nation of whiners" and said we are only suffering a "mental recession."

Reading this, I'd say Gramm had a legitimate point.

That's the same problem the Republican Party has. It has lost track of what it used to stand for: small government, a disciplined fiscal policy, integrity.

In a way, the perfect storm of a rapidly changing population -- old white people aren't going to be in the majority very much longer (and isn't that who most of the Republicans are?) -- has combined with the total abdication of principles, Republican or otherwise, of arguably the worst president in the nation's history to mark the beginning of the end of the Republican Party as we know it.

Republican Congressman Tom Davis of Virginia said it best: "The Republican brand is in the trash can. If we were dog food, they would take us off the shelf."

Being I'm not a feeble old white guy yet, that line sounded familiar. So a quick search of it turned up, ironically, in this Cafferty missive from two weeks ago.

As one GOP congressman put it earlier this year: “the Republican brand is in the trash can… if we were dog food, they would take us off the shelf.”

Is Jack getting so feeble he's recycling his own material from August 19?

Of course, that line from Davis is now nearly four months old. Lord knows how many times Cafferty has used it since.

Republicans under George W. Bush have done a lot of damage to this country in the last eight years -- but they have done more damage to themselves. It will take a good long while and a great deal of soul searching before their brand returns to the shelves in good standing.

Speaking of feeble old white guys, who runs over a bicyclist and doesn't stop for help?

CNN Moonbat Cafferty Blames Bridge Collapse on Iraq War

Well, that didn't take long.

Less than 24 hours after the Minneapolis bridge collapse, barking moonbat Jack Cafferty used the tragedy to go off on the war in Iraq.

Forget more money for infrastructure. We need a national campaign to cure Bush Derangement Syndrome.

If there anything these morons won't blame on Bush?

Details at NewsBusters.

I wonder if Cafferty will retroactively blame Bush for his road rage incident?

According to the police, on May 14, CNN anchorman Jack Cafferty struck and injured bicyclist Billy Maldonado and dragged his bike under his car for at least two blocks at West 42nd Street and 9th Avenue in Manhattan. A traffic officer and pedestrians ran after Cafferty's car to stop him, but he drove through at least two red lights and around other vehicles without stopping. When cops found Cafferty a day later, he claimed he didn't know he had hit the bicyclist. He also claimed that he did not hear the bicycle as it dragged under his car, though he did admit seeing Maldonado on the ground in his rear view mirror.

Cops charged Cafferty with leaving the scene of an accident along with misdemeanor charges of reckless driving, assault and harassment. If convicted, Cafferty could have served more than a year in jail and have had to pay thousands of dollars in fines.

But the Manhattan District Attorney let Cafferty off with a $250 fine and 70 hours of community service after he plead guilty to leaving the scene of an accident.

Call him convicted criminal Jack Cafferty.