Summer of Recovery Continues: $276,000 of Stimulus Money Created Six One-Hundredths of a Job

I figure at this rate of progress we should be easing out way out of The Great Recession somewhere in the fall of 9826, by which time memory of this disastrous presidency hopefully has faded.

On the upside, if you're one of the many who do ant research for a living, somewhere a fortune awaits you.

A couple of Republican senators put out a report today spelling out how they say a lot of the money taxpayers shelled out for the stimulus package was wasted. CBS News investigative correspondent Sharyl Attkisson Follows the Money.

It may be called the Recovery Act, but to Pastor Greg Sheets - it's the law of unintended consequences.

A well-meaning stimulus project to improve the road in front of his Newark, Ohio home has led the city to take part of his yard through eminent domain. Sheets got a restraining order when workers got too close to his house. The mess is now in its fourth month.

"My grandmother owned this house when I was a child," Sheets said. "There's not much left here to keep in the family."

In the state of Washington, another stimulus project may be hurting those it was designed to help. Construction began one year ago today in front of the Archery Bistro Restaurant. The owner says it's shut off business like a fly in a bowl of soup. He's had to stop serving lunch, close two days a week and, ironically, lay off 12 workers.

See, it was a "couple of Republican senators" who had to do the work CBS News should have long ago unearthed, but now they feel compelled to report. Why haven't they and other media outlets been doing their job in the 18 months since this trillion-dollar boondoggle passed?

You know that answer.

Now for some fun with numbers.

A new report from Republican senators Tom Coburn and John McCain says too much of the $862 billion in stimulus money is being spent with dubious results: $700,000 for a researcher to study improvised music. For a project on interactive dance, 44 percent of the money goes to "overhead."

The $1.9 million spent to photograph ants in foreign countries has created two jobs created so far. That's better than other ant research stimulus projects: $451,000 has created one job, $276,000 spent on another created six one-hundredths of a job, and the $800,000 spent on a different one created no jobs.

The $144,000 spent to study the behavior of monkeys on cocaine created four-tenths of a job.

To study why monkeys respond to unfairness cost $677,000 - and has created no jobs yet - except maybe for the monkeys.

Read that part again: To study why monkeys respond to unfairness cost $677,000.

I can't wait to see how liberals respond to the unfairness of Republicans pointing this out in television ads.

Naturally, Obama and his minions want us to still live in the Land of Make Believe, a place emptying out quickly judging by his anemic poll numbers.

Still, Obama Administration economists say all the projects have valid goals, and the Recovery Act has put three million people back to work.

Jared Bernstein, chief economic adviser to Vice President Biden said, "If you look at the impact of the Recovery Act, including many of the projects that they're critiquing, these are projects that are creating jobs today, getting Americans back to work."

Back to work studying ants and crackhead monkeys whining about unfairness.

And they're the best and brightest.

In other reality-based news, a new poll shows two-thirds of the ruling class--that would be the Obama regime, Democrats and Journlisters--believe America is on the right track. That's apparently the fast track to statism. Meanwhile, 84% of Americans disagree with the elites. A slight divide there, it appears.

Stunner: Census Bureau Already Way Over Budget

This is what happens when you farm out the census to community organizers. The money goes down a rathole and nobody has any explanation.

The U.S. Census is well into conducting its constitutionally mandated 2010 count but the exercise is already running over budget.

Taxpayers are footing the bill of $14.7 billion for 10 years of Census counting. That price tag supports 500 local offices and a peak staff of 1.4 million workers.

But some cost overruns have already plagued this Census, like when tens of thousands of workers fanned out between March and July of last year to verify addresses -- a process known as "address canvassing." The Census Bureau, federal auditors later found, ran 25 percent over budget for a total cost of $444 million.

"When I arrived in July, the findings of that overrun were just emerging," Census Director Robert Groves said. "There was an underestimation of just the workload -- how many houses we had to go to."

Auditors also found the Census Bureau provided training to some 15,000 workers who either worked not at all or less than a single day -- at a total cost of $5.5 million.

Since you'll be getting your form in the mail this week, here's a tip how to fill it out, although I doubt all the illegals will be calling themselves Americans.

Shocker: Census Bureau Has Already Wasted Millions

It's like free money for a bunch of slackers and ACORN types. I think the biggest waste is the amount of money spent on those idiotic commercials at $2.5 million a pop during the Super Bbowl.

The Census Bureau wasted millions of dollars in preparation for its 2010 population count, including thousands of temporary employees who picked up $300 checks without performing work and others who overbilled for travel costs.

Federal investigators caution the excessive charges could multiply once the $15 billion headcount begins in earnest next month unless the agency imposes tighter spending controls, according to excerpts of a forthcoming audit obtained by The Associated Press.

On a positive note, investigators backed the Census Bureau's decision to spend $133 million on its advertising campaign, saying it was appropriate to boost public awareness. The spending included a $2.5 million Super Bowl spot that some Republicans had criticized as wasteful.

Excuse me, but $133 million to raise awareness? Who's not aware the census occurs every ten years?

Check out where some of your money went.

--More than 10,000 census employees were paid over $300 apiece to attend training for the massive address-canvassing effort, but they quit or were otherwise let go before they could perform any work. Cost: $3 million.

--Another 5,000 employees collected $300 for the same training, and then worked a single day or less. Cost $1.5 million.

--Twenty-three temporary census employees were paid for car mileage costs at 55 cents a mile, even though the number of miles they reported driving per hour exceeded the total number of hours they actually worked.

--Another 581 employees who spent the majority of their time driving instead of conducting field work also received full mileage reimbursements, which investigators called questionable.

Census regional offices that had mileage costs exceeding their planned budgets included Atlanta; Charlotte, N.C.; Chicago; Dallas; Denver; Detroit; Kansas City and Seattle.

By the way, if you dare to ignore this intrusion, an army of "workers" will be unleashed upon us.

Most of the nation will receive census forms in mid-March, and the Census Bureau is asking residents to return them by April. For those who fail to respond, the government will dispatch some 700,000 temporary workers to visit homes in May.

NYC's Stimulus Plan: Taxpayer-Funded E-Condoms

If you needed a great example of government waste during a recession, look no further than New York City, the black hole of liberal spending run amok. Not only do these idiots distribute free condoms on the government dime, they have a website set up promoting it and today churn out a press release touting a new Facebook page where you can be hip and send your friends an e-condom.

No, this isn't a gag.

This Valentine’s Day, become a fan of the NYC Condom – on Facebook. By visiting the new page, New Yorkers send e-condoms to their friends, spread the word about safe sex and link to information on where to find condoms. The Health Department will also host a virtual event on Facebook, where New Yorkers can say they will use a condom and invite their friends to do the same.

The new page is the latest phase in a campaign that started in 2007, when New York City launched the nation’s first branded city condom. Monthly distribution at clinics, clubs, salons and other venues has since doubled, reaching more than 3 million condoms per month. Together, the Health Department and its numerous community partners have distributed some 70 million NYC Condoms since the launch.

Last year industrial designer Yves Behar, founder of the San Francisco-based fuseproject firm, gave the condom a fresh look with a new wrapper and a sleek dispenser, which won an International Design Excellence Award from Business Week and the Industrial Designers Society of America. It also won a 2008 Spark Award.

“By using Facebook, we can help millions of people spread the word about condoms,” said Dr. Monica Sweeney, the Health Department’s assistant commissioner for HIV prevention and control. “Condoms protect against contracting HIV and other STDs when used correctly and consistently. They also prevent unintended pregnancy. We encourage New Yorkers to stay safe on Valentine’s Day – and everyday – by using condoms.”

If people are so damn stupid they're unaware of condoms and what their purpose is, then clearly sex education in the public schools has failed miserably. I doubt anyone will point that out to them, so I will.

Also, in case you're completely incompetent, an Obama voter, or likely both, they even give you handy tips on how to use them.

How to use a condom correctly:
* Use a new condom for each sex act.
* Put the condom on when the penis is erect, before sexual contact occurs. Unroll it all the way down.
* Leave a half-inch at the tip to collect semen. Squeeze out any extra air.
* If you accidentally put on a condom the wrong way, discard it and use a new one.
* Use a water-based lubricant (e.g., K-Y jelly, Astroglide, Kama Sutra, Liquid Silk).
* After sex, pull out before the penis softens. Hold the base of the condom to make sure its contents do not spill.
* Dispose of the condom.

Sadly, there's no instruction on where to dispose of the condom. We might need a new government program to educate the great unwashed on how to dispose of them.

Oh, and don't worry, ladies, there's also handy instruction on female condoms.

Running low on lube? Well, now you can order some here!

So, next time your hear the King of Nanny-State Land, Michael Bloomberg, whining about a budget crisis, or when David Paterson introduces another 137 taxes disguised as fees, maybe someone can ask them how much money is being wasted giving away condoms and issuing press releases about them.

To think this is probably going on in every city across the nation.

We're getting screwed, but at least they using a condom.