Have They Tried Sensitivity Training?

For some strange reason, humans are shocked when primates act like, well, primates.

A troop of monkeys has been making "lewd signs" at women and children trying to harvest crops south of Nairobi, and the farmers feel so harassed that Kenya’s Wildlife Service is sending in animal-control teams to confront the animals.

The monkeys in the Kabete area even earned a mention in parliament last month when the local MP Paul Muite said his constituents feared the monkeys would sexually harass them.

"Can the minister deploy game rangers in Karai location in Kabete to deal with the monkey menace?" he asked the tourism and wildlife minister, Morris Dzoro, to laughs in the chamber.

"These creatures have clearly shown that they have no respect for women."

Geez, next thing you know, they'll be comparing them to construction workers.

Gichuki Kabukuru of the Kenya Wildlife Service told the Telegraph that monkeys and baboons commonly harass women, gesturing at them and touching their own private parts.

"Even in our camps," he explained, "when men are out on patrol and the monkeys see women and children, they will become very naughty and make lewd signs at them."

This is nothing. You should see them when they get a few beers in them.

Marauding Monkeys Kill Indian Pol

They obviously need monkey control.

Monkeys kill Delhi deputy mayor

The deputy mayor of the Indian capital Delhi died on Sunday after being attacked by a horde of wild monkeys.

SS Bajwa suffered serious head injuries when he fell from the first-floor terrace of his home on Saturday morning trying to fight off the monkeys.

The city has long struggled to counter its plague of monkeys, which invade government complexes and temples, snatch food and scare passers-by.

The High Court demanded the city find an answer to the problem last year.

One approach has been to train bands of larger, more ferocious langur monkeys to go after the smaller groups of Rhesus macaques.

The city has also employed monkey catchers to round them up so they can be moved to forests.

But the problem has persisted.

Culling is seen as unacceptable to devout Hindus, who revere the monkeys as a manifestation of the monkey god Hanuman, and often feed them bananas and peanuts.