The Moonbat Test

Howie Carr has some fun today. He knows his moonbats.

For those who came in late, moonbats are trust-funded, medicated, middle-aged, white-guilt-ridden blogging lefty losers who inflicted Deval Patrick upon the working people. The moonbats now yearn to elect Sen. Barack Obama, a Deval on steroids.

If you are a guy with a ponytail, chances are you’re a moonbat - if you have a wide-brim leather hat too, the odds rise to 100 percent. If you’re a woman and you bring knitting to public meetings, consider yourself positively ID’ed.

Like most people, I know ’em when I see ’em. But if you are wondering whether or not you are a moonbat, here are some of the most obvious traits:

You refer to the current national administration as the “Cheney-Bush regime.”

You’ve used the word “Halliburton” at least once in the last 10 minutes.

The biggest issue in the state: gay marriage.

The second biggest issue in the state: the pressing need for more bicycle paths.

You take part in the weekly anti-war protests on the town post office with all the other grandmothers, or should I say the women who would be grandmothers if they hadn’t had so many abortions 30 years ago.

You’re the only one on your block who still has the Globe delivered.

You believed the National Enquirer totally when they busted Rush Limbaugh.

You don’t believe a word of the National Enquirer now that it’s busting John Edwards.

Your car contains at least three of the following bumper stickers: “Redefeat Bush,” “1-20-09,” “We ARE a Family and We Vote,” “Kerry-Edwards,” “Free Mumia,” “9/11 Was an Inside Job” and “Got Hope?”

Read on, there's more.