Pantsuit Turns 60, Greedy Minions Count the Ca$h

She doesn't look a day over 59.

Well, I used to like Elvis Costello. Now that he's groveling before this horrible woman, he won't be in the rotation much longer.

"Happy Birthday, Mrs. President," crooned Costello, echoing Marilyn Monroe's serenade of President Kennedy.

I think I'm going to puke.

Does she really think anyone believes she's a Yankee fan?

Apparently, mini-actor Billy Crystal is slurping that Koolaid.

Clinton, standing under three giant pictures of herself, took the stage with a dig at Rudy Giuliani, the Yankees fan who said last week that he's rooting for the Red Sox in the World Series.

"I have been a fan -- and I remain a fan -- of the Yankees, no changes, no looking to curry favor with anybody else," said Clinton, turning the tables on the mayor, who has derided her loyalty to the team as political pandering.

Crystal made repeated references to Giuliani's baseball flip-flop, saying it was like Ann Coulter declaring she's kosher.

Wow, what a yukfest. Maybe some day she'll actually show up at Yankee Stadium. Perhaps when they schedule Chinese Dishwasher Day.

Now what's birthday bash without trashing some people, especially those who've got your number?

The campaign's birthday celebration offered Clinton an opportunity to reach out to older women, a group that's proven surprisingly Hillary-phobic.

"Women over 60 are going to be a tough sell for her," said Hunter College politics professor Andrew Polsky. "This is a generation of women who came of age before the era of feminism, and a higher percentage of them spent their lives as housewives who didn't have a career. To them, she's had an untraditional life and an untraditional career and that makes them uncomfortable with her."

Perhaps her nanny-state socialism has something to do with that as well.

More here.

Crystal returned after the Wallflowers, performed, and joked, "Giuliani just retracted the Red Sox thing, so now he's gonna vote for Cleveland."

An upbeat director Ron Howard said as he exited the theater that Crystal "wasn't vicious," but that the crowd was "happy to have" the joke.

Bill Clinton said his wife is "still . . . beautiful" at 60 and quipped, "She was 23 when we first met - poor child didn't know any better."

The event - where tickets ranged from $250 to $2,300 - raised $1.5 million, aides said.

Crystal's comic apex was around 1978 when he played Jody on Soap. It's been all downhill since.

By the way, is it just me or does anyone else find it unseemly that people use their birthdays to shake down campaign contributors?

Speaking of Mrs. Clinton's greed, Suitably Flip has the latest on her criminal fundraiser, Norman Hsu.