HuffPosters Suffering From 'McCain/Palin Sleep Disorder'

Polls have you feeling down, the market tanking making you a little depressed? Well, whenever you're feeling blue, always know there's someone out there so off the rails, it'll certainly pick up your spirits and give you a few chuckles.

And where else would you go but the the Internet chamber of horrors, the Huffington Post?

A couple of weeks ago we thought Naomi Wolf's psychotic rant about the coming McCain/Palin police state locked up the award for most unhinged rant of the election season, but we may have a new leader in the form of this desperate cry for help from someone named Daniel Chun.

Three weeks ago, I met with a therapist for the first time in my life. I'm a very happy guy -- great family, great job, great girlfriend, tons of Facebook friends -- no problems that a glass of scotch couldn't fix. But ever since the beginning of September, I've gone 100% batshit crazy. Why? Because come next year, John McCain and Sarah Palin might be running this country. I can't concentrate at work. I can't hold a normal conversation about anything besides politics. At night, I'm afraid to go to sleep because I know that Sarah Palin is waiting for me in Dreamland, like Freddy Krueger but dumber and more evil.

How about a few more glasses of scotch, you idiot?

Just try and figure this clown out. Great job, family, girlfriend and -- most important -- tons of Facebook friends, and he's flipping out because his guy might lose an election? WTF is wrong with these people? Doesn't he know the media has declared the election over and the polls have Obama with huge leads everywhere you look? And he chooses to embarrass himself on a major website by admitting he can't sleep becasue of the evil Sarah Palin?

Palin may be a lot of things, and we've all heard every allegation, but evil just doesn't come to mind.

So I got more involved. I made phone calls to voters in my hometown in Pennsylvania. I donated. I signed up to canvass in Nevada. I set up a fundraising page on Obama's website with two friends. We set an ambitious goal of $10,000. After two weeks of bugging and pleading with our friends, family, co-workers, and bosses, we had raised $26,000.

But as satisfying as all those things are, I'm still crazy. And the more I think about it, the more I think that everyone should be crazy. Consider all the meaningless shit that we become obsessed about -- ex-girlfriends, neighbors' dogs, celebrities' vaginas -- and now think about this: a 72-year old liar with anger problems might become the most powerful person in the world. And if he dies, he'd be replaced by a babbling, evolution-doubting, Supreme-Court-case-not-knowing woman whose knowledge about the world comes from a 3-week cram session. This deserves one month of your obsession.

Come to think of it, the sadistic side in me is enjoying seeing Chun and his ilk coming unglued. Maybe they'll all fall into a deep state of sleep, say, right around November 4, and wake up to their worst nightmare: Freddie Krueger with a beehive and a hick accent.

The contrast between Obama and McCain could not be greater. This is like choosing between an orgasm and a punch in the throat. The fact this is a close race is a terrifying outrage, and every single person should be doing everything they can about it. Stop clicking refresh on Mark Halperin's The Page. Go knock on some doors. Make some phone calls. Make a donation. Recruit your friends. You only have to do it for a month. This shit makes a difference, and with the country in such a bad way, the stakes could not be higher. If you aren't going crazy, there's something wrong with you.

Time to go back and visit your therapist, Danny. And get a prescription for some sleeping pills while you're there.

The commenters, naturally, share Chun's disorder.

blackbird1974

I too consider myself crazy. I am in a family of all republicans and the tension is driving me nuts. I keep wondering, at night, when I should be sleeping, how did I get into this family, they all hate the democrats and blame everything, from the bright lights on top of school buses for safety reasons (that they think is stupid) to anything they believe is unworthing of having been thought of or done. I used to joke about leaving the US, and all I have to say is Mexico is looking good, a few weeks drinking the water and I'll be fine and used to it. I sit up worrying about Palin and what she might do in office. As a woman, I feel as though this glass ceiling is getting thicker and thicker because of her. I can stop obsessing and I'm doing what I can, but it's just getting worse. Less than a month, and I'll know what I'm in for.

Good grief. How pathetic are these people? It's a damn election people. If you lose, work at getting your candidate elected next time. But no, we instead face a country filled with sleep-deprived zombies if the Messiah isn't elected.

Sheesh.

whit4brains

I'm another crazy. I suffer from MPSD (McCain/Palin Sleep Disorder). My DVR is full of my regular shows that I never seem to watch because I can't turn off the news. I wake up every morning and the first thing I do is check fivethirtyeight.com. I live in a 'red' neighborhood and feel sick as I walk my dog every night and have to see all the M/P yard signs.

I've donated as much as I can and have been trying to educate as many people as I can about how important this election is. I am so amazed at how some people think it doesn't matter either way. Hello...The Supreme Court! It matters so much.

I really don't know what I will do if O doesn't win. I am sure if they don't there will be a surge in the number of people on anti-depressants.

That should help with pharmaceutical stocks, I suppose.

damosa

I, too, am having nightmares about McCain/Palin. I thought it was just me. So, let's work to make sure it does not happen.

Shieldmaiden

I've been having panic attacks over this election and I go into full paper-bag-over-mouth-and-nose mode on debate nights or during convention speeches. My TV is always on MSNBC or CNN and I'm sure I haven't seen any TV shows that don't involve politics. I freak out whether we're up in the polls or down in the polls because I'm convinced Americans are really that stupid. And I pray every single night. I haven't prayed consistently for many years but I pray every night just in case. I think I'm going to need a lot of medication when this is all over.

Well, at least someone has found religion. Maybe watching CNN and MessNBC all the time is part of the problem. I know I'd be nuts if those were my sole sources of information.

Need some more laughs? There are seven pages of comments like this.

H/T to venjanz on the LGF links.

Maybe this clip will cause some more insomnia. Pay attention at the very end.



Gateway Pundit has more, including an illiterate commenter issuing threats of violence.

Bruce said...

Sarah Palin really angers me.

On another note: If you guys try to steel this election there will be chaos on the streets. There are a lot of Obama supporters out there who are trained and ready if this comes down to physical confrontation. We're not going to put up with this anymore. It's time for real change, not John McSame.

I wonder if 'Bruce' know what an IP address is?

Here's another little something to cause some sleeplessness.

Hot Air and Suitably Flip link. Thanks!

And since this HuffPost chucklehead has Freddie Krueger on the brain, I may as well shamelessly lift this one from Flip.


I don't know about you, but it sort of turns me on.