Hugo Chavez Now Offers Parenting Advice

I must admit his advice here is pretty sound. Just listening to this blithering bag of wind is sure to cure insomnia.

In a television appearance on Thursday to extol the virtues of a portable computer his socialist government plans to introduce at public schools, Chavez said youngsters had stopped him in the street to tell him they saw him on television.

"It seems that there are mothers here who, instead of putting their kids to sleep with cartoons, put them to sleep with Chavez," he said.

"And the child dozes off and dozes off, and Chavez speaks and speaks and speaks. And the child falls asleep," said the loquacious leader, well known for speeches that can last for hours.

Meanwhile, on a more serious note, the gangster thug closed a bank with ties to an outspoken television station while the fugitive boss of Globovision aired his own thoughts.

The fugitive boss of Venezuela's opposition Globovision television station accused socialist President Hugo Chavez on Monday of ordering his arrest to stifle his criticism of the government.

Authorities in the OPEC nation issued a warrant for Guillermo Zuloaga and raided his house on Friday, accusing him of illegally storing new vehicles last year for speculative purposes. He was not home at the time.

Zuloaga said in a telephone call to Globovision from an undisclosed location that the charges were politically motivated and he was the victim of a witch hunt.

"We have been viciously attacked again by the government for the sole purpose of trying to silence us," he said. "I have come to the conclusion that handing myself in would do no good for the country, for Globovision, or for my family."

No kidding. We've got a lot of that happening in this country as well.