Pathetic: Client No. 9 To Get Prime CNN Gig?

You've got to be kidding me. Does CNN really think anyone is going to tune in to see the disgraced Eliot Spitzer? Not only that, Spitzer isn't the only two-bit fraud about to land a prime gig at the low-rated cable outlet.

Ted Turner must be flinging his remote at the wall in despair. CNN, the cable network he founded, is poised to turn its prime-time schedule over to two disgraced public figures, ex-Gov. Eliot Spitzer and former British tabloid editor Piers Morgan, in its desperate bid to restore lost ratings.

Hooker-loving Spitzer is thisclose to a deal to co-host an 8 p.m. talk show, sources said. Morgan -- a former editor of Britain's Daily Mirror being groomed to replace Larry King -- was caught up in a scandal in 2000 after he bought shares in a company before his paper touted them as good buys. He quit in 2004 after printing fake photos of Iraqi prisoners being tortured by British soldiers.

A source said, "CNN is so desperate, they're totally abandoning Turner's original vision of impartial reporting. With talent like Spitzer on board, the people hosting the news will be more controversial than any guests they could book."

The Post's Michael Shain reports Spitzer has "all but a done deal" to get a co-host spot at 8 p.m., previously occupied by Campbell Brown, whose ratings had plunged. Spitzer will become half of a talking-head duo on a show fashioned after "Crossfire," which CNN canceled in 2005. CNN is searching for a conservative partner for Spitzer, who'll go head-to-head with Fox's Bill O'Reilly in the time slot, before announcing the new show.

Head-to-head with O'Reilly? Wishful thinking. Spitzer would be lucky to get without shouting distance of Olberdork on MSNBC at that time.

As to Piers Morgan, here's a look at that douchebag after he told everyone what a klutz Bush was for falling off a Segway.