Congress Going After Online Shoppers

The government's insatiable thirst for tax revenue is about to hit online shoppers, who've largely managed to escape onerous state taxes by shopping at sites such as Amazon.com. So if you've been wondering what to do with that $13-a-week windfall from King Obama, just forward it to your state government.

The days of buying online to avoid paying sales taxes may soon be over.

A bill is expected to be introduced to Congress this week that would force retailers like eBay and Amazon.com to start collecting sales taxes on behalf of states from people who shop online or through mail order.

It's not a new effort: Attempts to close the online tax "loophole" have been going on for at least a decade.

But supporters of the bill think Congress may finally give in to their demands because of their own pressure to lend support to financially battered state governments.

"This would be fiscal relief for the states that wouldn't require any money from the federal government," said Neal Osten, a senior policy analyst with the National Conference of State Legislatures, which is drafting the bill.

Osten pointed to a recent study that said state sales tax collections fell to their lowest levels in 50 years at the end of 2008.

The study by the Rockefeller Institute, which is the public-policy research arm of the State University of New York, said that fourth-quarter 2008 sales taxes dropped by 6.1 percent, and that preliminary figures for the first three months of 2009 suggest even steeper declines.

In case you're wondering, and I know you are, this isn't just another Democrat tax scheme. It's bi-partisan confiscation of your money.

Osten said the new bill, which is expected to be introduced by Sen. Mike Enzi, (R-WYO) and Rep. Bill Delahunt, (D-MA), is being drafted to make it easier for retailers by requiring states to inform retailers when there's a change in the tax code, such as a sales tax holiday.

Under the current rules, sales taxes often slip through the cracks. Shoppers living in Vermont, for example, aren't required to pay sales tax at the time of purchase when buying stuff on Amazon.com.

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Fair Weather Cubs Fans Sell Loyalty on eBay

This sorry excuse for a fan is willing to sell only 24 years of his time, money and misery. I know enough fans of many assorted teams who've suffered far longer, and would probably beat this guy within an inch of his life for selling his loyalty.

Geez, I can understand some 90-year-old Cubs fan ready to call it a day, but 24 years? C'mon, dude, man up. Granted, you got broomed by the Dodgers and still haven't recovered from Bartman, but are you willing to throw it all away knowing that maybe next year just might be the year? Heck, my uncle, God rest his soul, sucked it up for 70 years before his Red Sox won four years ago. The suffering was worth it. The man died happy.

But no, 24 years is just too much. Besides, he's got credit card debt to worry about. Good luck with that, especially the way the bidding is going.

I have been a Cubs fan my whole life but cant take this anymore. The proceeds will help me pay off my credit card debt I built up flying to Chicago for games one and two to watch the nightmare continue and paying outrageous ticket prices! Please help me out.

Upon completion I will sign a document swearing off my Cubs loyalty and will be a fan of the team of your choice. If the bidding reaches $30 I will include an autographed picture of myself in the hat of your team of choice. Happy bidding. One more thing if the bidding reaches $60 I will burn my "W" cubs shirt on video while wearing the hat of your choice and auto that pic too.

For $100, he'd probably come over and do your laundry.

What a sorry sack of shit. I'm almost willing to bid this up just to emasculate this guy some more.

Now this guy I maybe can feel for a little more. 63 years? Oof. That's getting kind of depressing. He might be worth bidding up.

Im done...If you made a movie about how bad the Cubs suck it would be a bomb because it would be too unbelievable. I have done year after year of hoping and praying for this team. I would reflect how great it would be when it finally happen and make all the pain worth it. Well its not worth it. I have endured too many years of pain for NOTHING! I probably would be in better health right now if I had never become a lifelong Cubs fan.

You are bidding on my Cubs fanhood. I will become a fan of whatever team you choose. You could also choose that I be a fan of no team which might help me stay sane. You will get a document certifiing my fanhood of the team of your choice. If the bid goes above $35 I will also purchase a hat of the team you chose and take a picture of me wearing it. Perfect for framing! You cant legally buy a vote in the election but you can buy my fanhood.

Now on eBay: 'Cheating, Lying, Adulterous Slag of a Wife'

Apparently there's quite a market for cheating, lying slags. She isn't too shabby looking, but we might have to do something about the body art.

A JEALOUS husband who suspected his wife of an affair took revenge – by putting her for sale on eBay.

Paul Osborn, 44, kicked out wife Sharon and advertised her on the internet auction site – with bids hitting £500,100.

It offered his “cheating, lying, adulterous slag of a wife” to the highest bidder – and became an internet phenomenon, with users forwarding the link worldwide. But Sharon, 43, denies an affair and cops are now investigating Paul for harassment.

Dad-of-two Paul, of Bletchley, Bucks, said: “I started checking her emails and I realised the rumours were true. They had been discussing their sex life together and making plans for the future.

“I was absolutely destroyed. I gathered all her stuff in bags and dumped it in the drive.”

Now on eBay: Belgium

Some may scoff, but this is a good idea.

Now maybe we can auction off some people.

Like this idiot for starters. He'll come cheap.

Someone tries to sell Belgium on eBay

BRUSSELS, Belgium - Hidden among the porcelain fox hounds and Burberry tablecloths on sale at eBay.be this week was an unusual item: "For Sale: Belgium, a Kingdom in three parts ... free premium: the king and his court (costs not included)."

The odd ad was posted by one disgruntled Belgian in protest at his country's political crisis which reached a 100-day landmark Tuesday with no end in sight to the squabbling between Flemish and Walloon politicians.

"I wanted to attract attention," said Gerrit Six, the teacher and former journalist who posted the ad. "You almost have to throw rock through a window to get attention for Belgium."

Well, he got the attention he desired, though not everyone is amused.

Six' idea got a mixed reaction on the streets of Brussels.

"Very funny, typical Belgian humor," said Anne Graux. "It's ridiculous," snapped Nathalie Ginot, a Brussels resident who had her own pragmatic solution to Belgium's woes. "We think it would be good to split Belgium into the three and make Brussels a tax-haven, a capital exempt from all taxes," she said hopefully.

Six vaunted Belgium's attractions to potential buyers from art nouveau architecture to the headquarters of NATO and the European Union and some great beers. But he also warned of the pitfalls of taking on the cacophonous mix of Flemish nationalists, Walloon Socialists and the mayors of all 19 Brussels' boroughs.

EBay was happy to take Six' advertisement.

"It was a really fun listing made by a Belgian," Peter Burin, PR manager of eBay Belgium. "This person, in a very funny way, reminded the Belgians what a great country Belgium actually is and it would be a shame to sell it."

Chew on This: How to Make Money Off Michael Vick in Three Easy Steps

Take a trading card. Feed it to your dog. Log on and watch the greenbacks flow in.

OK, this is really getting stupid now. I get it. People hate this guy for obvious reasons, he's in a world of trouble, may never recoup the money he forfeited due to his own idiocy, but can we give it a rest for five minutes?

It's not like he gassed six million people then took the easy escape hatch to hell.

Though I guess if you're willing to pay big bucks for a piece of cardboard with dog slobber on it, knock yourself out.

Vick cards chewed by dogs are on eBay

Take some trading cards picturing a disgraced NFL superstar. Add some dog slobber and teethmarks. What do you get? The most valuable Michael Vick cards -- by far -- on eBay, that's what.

Collector Rochelle Steffen of Cape Girardeau, Mo., gave every Vick card she owned to her dogs and let them go to town on the images of the Atlanta Falcons quarterback who is scheduled to plead guilty to a federal dogfighting charge Monday.

Once Monte, her 6-year-old Weimaraner, and Roxie, her Great Dane puppy, were done worrying them, nearly two dozen $1-$10 cards were crumpled, crimped, chewed, torn and generally in a sorry state. Some even had corners missing.

As of Thursday evening, the highest bid on the lot of 22 cards had risen to $455 and more than 2,000 people had viewed the posting. Seventy-seven people already have bid on the auction, which ends Sunday.

The next-most expensive Vick cards -- well-preserved specimens from his rookie year -- were going for less than half the price of the gnawed ones.

"If I would have had some of his super-duper ones, they would have been right in the mix too," Steffen said Thursday.

In other Vick news, Starbury called to let us know he didn't like the way he was portrayed the other day.

Nuance, baby.

Meanwhile, Knick star Stephon Marbury - feeling the heat for supporting Vick - backpedaled yesterday.

Marbury characterized dogfighting as a "sport" during an interview with an Albany television station.

But yesterday he told The Post, "I never said dogfighting was a sport. I said, 'From what I hear, dogfighting was a sport.' "

From what I hear, Marbury's IQ is 68. But that's just what I heard.