Wednesday, October 08, 2008

Fair Weather Cubs Fans Sell Loyalty on eBay

This sorry excuse for a fan is willing to sell only 24 years of his time, money and misery. I know enough fans of many assorted teams who've suffered far longer, and would probably beat this guy within an inch of his life for selling his loyalty.

Geez, I can understand some 90-year-old Cubs fan ready to call it a day, but 24 years? C'mon, dude, man up. Granted, you got broomed by the Dodgers and still haven't recovered from Bartman, but are you willing to throw it all away knowing that maybe next year just might be the year? Heck, my uncle, God rest his soul, sucked it up for 70 years before his Red Sox won four years ago. The suffering was worth it. The man died happy.

But no, 24 years is just too much. Besides, he's got credit card debt to worry about. Good luck with that, especially the way the bidding is going.
I have been a Cubs fan my whole life but cant take this anymore. The proceeds will help me pay off my credit card debt I built up flying to Chicago for games one and two to watch the nightmare continue and paying outrageous ticket prices! Please help me out.

Upon completion I will sign a document swearing off my Cubs loyalty and will be a fan of the team of your choice. If the bidding reaches $30 I will include an autographed picture of myself in the hat of your team of choice. Happy bidding. One more thing if the bidding reaches $60 I will burn my "W" cubs shirt on video while wearing the hat of your choice and auto that pic too.
For $100, he'd probably come over and do your laundry.

What a sorry sack of shit. I'm almost willing to bid this up just to emasculate this guy some more.

Now this guy I maybe can feel for a little more. 63 years? Oof. That's getting kind of depressing. He might be worth bidding up.
Im done...If you made a movie about how bad the Cubs suck it would be a bomb because it would be too unbelievable. I have done year after year of hoping and praying for this team. I would reflect how great it would be when it finally happen and make all the pain worth it. Well its not worth it. I have endured too many years of pain for NOTHING! I probably would be in better health right now if I had never become a lifelong Cubs fan.

You are bidding on my Cubs fanhood. I will become a fan of whatever team you choose. You could also choose that I be a fan of no team which might help me stay sane. You will get a document certifiing my fanhood of the team of your choice. If the bid goes above $35 I will also purchase a hat of the team you chose and take a picture of me wearing it. Perfect for framing! You cant legally buy a vote in the election but you can buy my fanhood.

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