Actual AP Headline: 'Old Farmer's Almanac: Global Cooling to Continue'

Global cooling? Huh? But the Warmies told us the planet is melting, the ice shelfs are busting up and we've only got a few years left on the planet.

How is it this blasphemous headline has made it out on the news wires?

Most of the country will see a colder-than-usual winter while summer and spring will be relatively cool and dry, according to the time-honored, complex calculations of the "Old Farmer's Almanac."

The 2011 issue of the almanac, which claims to be the nation's oldest continuously published periodical, was released Tuesday. It predicts that in the coming months, the Earth will continue to see a "gradual cooling of the atmosphere ... offset by any warming caused by increased greenhouse gases."

The "Old Farmer's Almanac" also is forecasting a weak La Nina — a climate phenomenon marked by an unusual cooling of the sea surface in the tropical Pacific Ocean.

Janice Stillman, editor of the almanac, said that means much of the eastern half of the United States will experience lower-than-normal temperatures with less snow while Mid-Atlantic states will see more snowfall than usual. The West will see a mild winter with average precipitation, she said.

Meanwhile, the South will experience a cold and wet summer and the Rockies should see a mild and dry winter, according to the New Hampshire-based "Old Farmer's Almanac."

"It'll be cold. There will be no mistaking winter," Stillman said. "But it may be a little shorter or we may see some small warm spells in places like the East Coast."

'Global Warming is Over -- at Least for a Few Decades'

The science is settled.

The hottest new trend in climate change may be global cooling, some researchers say.

Contrary to the commonly held scientific conclusion that the Earth is getting warmer, Dr. Don Easterbrook, emeritus professor of geology at Western Washington University and author of more than 150 peer-reviewed papers, has unveiled evidence for his prediction that global cooling is coming soon.

“Rather than global warming at a rate of 1 F per decade, records of past natural cycles indicate there may be global cooling for the first few decades of the 21st century to about 2030,” said Easterbrook, speaking on a scientific panel discussion with other climatologists. This, he says, will likely be followed by “global warming from about 2030 to 2060,” which will then be followed by another cooling spell from 2060 to 2090.

Easterbrook spoke before a group of about 700 scientists and government officials at the fourth International Conference on Climate Change. The conference is presented annually in Chicago by the Heartland Institute, a conservative nonprofit think tank that actively questions the theory of man's role in global warming. Last year the Institute published Climate Change Reconsidered, a comprehensive reply to the United Nations' latest report on climate change.

"Global warming is over -- at least for a few decades," Easterbrook told conference attendees. "However, the bad news is that global cooling is even more harmful to humans than global warming, and a cause for even greater concern."

His 50 peer-reviewed papers are exactly 150 more than famed climatoligst Al Gore has authored, so I tend to side with Easterbrook. Speaking of Gore, check out this depressing montage from the porcine propagandist.



Nothing like cheering up the graduates, fatboy.

Record Cold Killing Off the Manatees

Aw, these poor creatures, dying in record numbers due to global cooling. Unlike bogus tales of polar bears dying off due to mythical global warming, which is totally bogus, Florida Fish and Wildlife officials have documented evidence.

Florida Fish and Wildlife Officials announced Tuesday that due to the prolonged cold temperatures the past three months, 431 manatee deaths have already been documented.

Officials say exposure to low temperatures for a long period of time can cause a condition called "manatee cold-stress syndrome," which can result in death.

Last year the FWC documented 429 manatee deaths, which exceeded the highest number on record until now.

The Fish and Wildlife Research Institute Director said the rate of mortality so far this year is of great concern and that they will focus on determining the long-term implications for the manatee population.

The Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission has rescued 48 manatees from across the state and continues to respond to reports of distressed animals

Land-based manatee lookalike Al Gore was unavailable for comment.

Coolest Year of the Decade 'Not Evidence That Global Warming is Slowing'

We could be encased in a sheet of ice and these pinheads will never admit they've been part of the greatest hoax of all time.

This year is set to be the coolest since 2000, according to a preliminary estimate of global average temperature that is due to be released next week by the Met Office. The global average for 2008 should come in close to 14.3C, which is 0.14C below the average temperature for 2001-07.

The relatively chilly temperatures compared with recent years are not evidence that global warming is slowing however, say climate scientists at the Met Office. "Absolutely not," said Dr Peter Stott, the manager of understanding and attributing climate change at the Met Office's Hadley Centre. "If we are going to understand climate change we need to look at long-term trends."

Prof Myles Allen at Oxford University who runs the climateprediction.net website, said he feared climate sceptics would overinterpret the figure. "You can bet your life there will be a lot of fuss about what a cold year it is. Actually no, its not been that cold a year, but the human memory is not very long, we are used to warm years," he said, "Even in the 80s [this year] would have felt like a warm year."

Sure.

Noted climatologist Algore was unavailable for comment.

Grim News: Farmer's Almanac Forecasts Global Cooling for the Next 50 Years

The fat penguin was unavailable for comment. If there was any justice in the world, his next comment would come during the deposition phase of the class-action lawsuit he's facing for perpetrating one of the greatest frauds in history.

If the Old Farmer's Almanac is on target, we're in for global cooling, not global warming.

The latest edition of the Almanac said a study of solar activity and corresponding records on ocean temperatures and climate point to a cooler, not warmer, climate, for perhaps the next 50 years.

For the near future, the Almanac predicts most of the country will be colder than normal in the coming winter, with heavy snow from the Ozarks into southern New England. Snow also is forecast for northern Texas, with a warmer than usual winter in the northern Plains.

Last year, the Almanac correctly predicted "above-normal" snowfall in the Northeast and below-normal snowfall in the mid-Atlantic states.

Snow in northern Texas? How can this be when we're all supposed to be melting due to man-made global warming climate change?

Grim News: New Ice Age Coming

Maybe Algore can get some bogus new footage for his next science fiction schlockumentary.

Read it and weep.

Disconcerting as it may be to true believers in global warming, the average temperature on Earth has remained steady or slowly declined during the past decade, despite the continued increase in the atmospheric concentration of carbon dioxide, and now the global temperature is falling precipitously.

All four agencies that track Earth's temperature (the Hadley Climate Research Unit in Britain, the NASA Goddard Institute for Space Studies in New York, the Christy group at the University of Alabama, and Remote Sensing Systems Inc in California) report that it cooled by about 0.7C in 2007. This is the fastest temperature change in the instrumental record and it puts us back where we were in 1930. If the temperature does not soon recover, we will have to conclude that global warming is over.

There is also plenty of anecdotal evidence that 2007 was exceptionally cold. It snowed in Baghdad for the first time in centuries, the winter in China was simply terrible and the extent of Antarctic sea ice in the austral winter was the greatest on record since James Cook discovered the place in 1770.

It is generally not possible to draw conclusions about climatic trends from events in a single year, so I would normally dismiss this cold snap as transient, pending what happens in the next few years.

This is where SOHO comes in. The sunspot number follows a cycle of somewhat variable length, averaging 11 years. The most recent minimum was in March last year. The new cycle, No.24, was supposed to start soon after that, with a gradual build-up in sunspot numbers.

It didn't happen. The first sunspot appeared in January this year and lasted only two days. A tiny spot appeared last Monday but vanished within 24 hours. Another little spot appeared this Monday. Pray that there will be many more, and soon.

The reason this matters is that there is a close correlation between variations in the sunspot cycle and Earth's climate. The previous time a cycle was delayed like this was in the Dalton Minimum, an especially cold period that lasted several decades from 1790.

Northern winters became ferocious: in particular, the rout of Napoleon's Grand Army during the retreat from Moscow in 1812 was at least partly due to the lack of sunspots.

That the rapid temperature decline in 2007 coincided with the failure of cycle No.24 to begin on schedule is not proof of a causal connection but it is cause for concern.

It is time to put aside the global warming dogma, at least to begin contingency planning about what to do if we are moving into another little ice age, similar to the one that lasted from 1100 to 1850.

There is no doubt that the next little ice age would be much worse than the previous one and much more harmful than anything warming may do. There are many more people now and we have become dependent on a few temperate agricultural areas, especially in the US and Canada. Global warming would increase agricultural output, but global cooling will decrease it.

Millions will starve if we do nothing to prepare for it (such as planning changes in agriculture to compensate), and millions more will die from cold-related diseases.

Good thing the doomsayers conveniently changed their mantra from global warming to climate change. Now they get to have it both ways.

Plus, on the upside, we may not freeze our asses off for another 1000 years, so we have time to stock up on firewood. Unless, of course, we continue to greedily ravage the planet and there's no more wood left.

The next descent into an ice age is inevitable but may not happen for another 1000 years. On the other hand, it must be noted that the cooling in 2007 was even faster than in typical glacial transitions. If it continued for 20 years, the temperature would be 14C cooler in 2027.

By then, most of the advanced nations would have ceased to exist, vanishing under the ice, and the rest of the world would be faced with a catastrophe beyond imagining.

Australia may escape total annihilation but would surely be overrun by millions of refugees. Once the glaciation starts, it will last 1000 centuries, an incomprehensible stretch of time.

If the ice age is coming, there is a small chance that we could prevent or at least delay the transition, if we are prepared to take action soon enough and on a large enough scale.

For example: We could gather all the bulldozers in the world and use them to dirty the snow in Canada and Siberia in the hope of reducing the reflectance so as to absorb more warmth from the sun.

The fear mongering ends with an urgent plea.

All those urging action to curb global warming need to take off the blinkers and give some thought to what we should do if we are facing global cooling instead.

It will be difficult for people to face the truth when their reputations, careers, government grants or hopes for social change depend on global warming, but the fate of civilisation may be at stake.

Good luck with that.

The last thing a fraud like Gore will do is admit he's been part of the greatest hoax ever.