Congress Back On Steroids

Now that the hard work of the country is done, apparently Congress is going to once again go back to doing what they do best, holding meaningless hearings on drugs in professional sports. They need to be investigating drug use among themselves, since it appears that they are all under the effects of some sort of mind-altering drug.

Congress plans to conduct a hearing next month on two professional football players whose suspensions were blocked by a federal appeals court.

The players in question play for the Minnesota Vikings and failed a drug test. but the players turned around and sued the NFL and a federal judge as well as the 8th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals issued an injunction blocking their suspension.

The NFL had attempted to suspend Minnesota Vikings Pat Williams and Kevin Williams four games each for violating the league's anti-doping policy.

C'mon, the NFL stands for the National Felons League anyway.

Memo to Customs: Beware of Containers Labeled 'Gay Lube Oil'

I guess when you're an operation smuggling steroids out of Thailand, there's always the potential to have some language snafus when translating to English. But you might want to put someone on the payroll with at least a semblance of a clue and coherent command of the language.

Otherwise you commit a blunder so laughable even a sleeping customs inspector would have his radar (or is it gaydar?) ringing.

Australian Customs has seized more than 100 bottles containing illegal liquid steroids hidden inside sexual lubricant packaging.

Customs is investigating the sophisticated drug smuggling network after the bottles, labelled as "gay lube oil", were seized in five states since the start of the year.

The bottles contain prohibited performance and image enhancing drugs from Thailand.

Customs national manager of investigations Richard Janeczko said the so-called gay lube oil contained various active ingredients including testosterone and deca durabolin.

He said these drugs could not be imported into Australia without a permit from the Therapeutic Goods Administration.

"Despite the professionalism of this smuggling operation, Customs officers were not fooled by the labelling and its misdescription," Mr Janeczko said today in a statement.

Regular supersleuths they've got there.

Quick call an emergency session of Congress

Bonds tested positive for steroids in 2001. Or so prosecutors say.

Federal prosecutors in San Francisco say Barry Bonds tested positive for steroids just one month after hitting his record 73-rd homerun of the 2001 season.

Now We Know Why Andy Pettitte Won't Be There

Looks like the insufferably arrogant Roger Clemens is going to have a nuclear device dropped on his oversized head today.

WASHINGTON — Roger Clemens will be confronted with a new and damaging affidavit from Andy Pettitte when he appears before the House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform on Wednesday to testify about allegations that he used performance-enhancing drugs, two lawyers familiar with the matter said late Tuesday.

Clemens will also be asked about corroborating information that committee staff members developed on their own that ties Clemens to such drugs, the lawyers said. That information, they said, stands separate and apart from the assertions made about Clemens by his former personal trainer, Brian McNamee, who contends that he injected Clemens with steroids and human growth hormone from 1998 to 2001.

The two lawyers familiar with what may be confronting Clemens at the hearing spoke on condition of anonymity because they were not authorized to speak publicly. They would not reveal details of the new Pettitte affidavit or of the new information obtained apart from McNamee’s assertions.

“The committee is not messing around and has other damaging evidence against Roger,” one of the lawyers said.

The other lawyer said, “Andy said enough to really hurt Roger.”

Should have just been a man about it, fessed up and walked away into retirement a filthy rich man.

Now he's probably looking at jail time.

I'll shed no tears for this jerk.

More here.

Update: Hot Air links. Thanks.

Live updates of the Congressional hearing here. Remarkably, Clemens throws his wife under the bus.

From SI's Tom Verducci: "The first bomb to drop was reference to the devastating affidavits from not only Andy Pettitte, but also from Pettitte's wife, Laura. Pettitte swore that Clemens told him in '1999 or 2000' that Clemens used HGH and that it helped his body recover. Pettitte immediately told his wife about that conversation, and she corroborated it to congressional staff. In 2005 in Kissimmee, Fla., Clemens denied to Pettitte having told him that he used HGH, claiming that Pettitte misunderstood him and that he was referring to HGH use by his wife, Debbie. But as Waxman pointed out, that would have been 'Impossible,' because both Clemens and McNamee tie Debbie Clemens' HGH use to 2003 -- not as far back as 1999 or 2000. Now you understand why Pettitte didn't want to be in the same room with Clemens. It was a severe blow to his friend's credibility."

WARNING! WARNING! Mormon alert.

Dale Murphy played for the Atlanta Braves in the 80's and 90's and is one heck of a nice guy.

Murphy started the “I Won’t Cheat Foundation,” which preaches ethics in youth athletics and against the use of performance-enhancing drugs.
Maybe this will be his legacy.
He won consecutive MVP awards (1982-83) with the Braves. He hit 398 home runs. But in 10 years on the ballot, he has never come close to being elected to the Hall of Fame. Candidates require at least 75 percent of the vote. Murphy has never garnered more than 23. Interestingly, his 75 votes this year (13.8 percent) were his most since 2001. So maybe he’s talking his way back into the spotlight.

So why am I talking about Dale Murphy? Well because he has some honest words about baseball players and steroids.

In playing days, he would’ve stopped right here. In retirement, he has become outspoken, particularly about the use of performance-enhancing drugs. Last year, he publicly admonished Bonds during the home-run chase. Now he watches as Clemens scrambles to protect his legacy with choreographed fits on “60 Minutes.” He finds it all rather disgusting.
“If you’re asking me if I think Clemens took steroids or something — yes, I think he took them,” Murphy said. “I don’t have any proof. I’m just giving you my opinion, and that’s my opinion. I’m like everybody else. This isn’t a court of law. I don’t see all the evidence. Why would Brian McNamee just throw [Andy] Pettitte and Clemens out there? What does he have to benefit from it?

I would love to see him in the hall of Fame instead of some of these juiced up, glow in the dark, plastic players we have nowadays.

Shocking Clemens Steroids Photo

I have no reason not to believe him.

Just some supplements and vitamins.

Clemens Denies Steroid Allegations

What else do you do when your reputation goes down the crapper?

You lawyer up and deny, deny, deny.

After being implicated of steroids use in the report former Senator George Mitchell released this afternoon, Roger Clemens has enlisted the services of powerful Houston attorney Rusty Hardin to defend him from the accusations.

"Roger Clemens vehemently denies allegations in the Mitchell report that he used performance-enhancing steroids, and is outraged that his name is included in the report based on the uncorroborated allegations of a troubled man threatened with federal criminal prosecution. Roger has been repeatedly tested for these substances and he has never tested positive. There has never been one shred of tangible evidence that he ever used these substances and yet he is being slandered today,” Hardin said in a release sent to the media.

“The use of steroids in sports is a serious problem, it is wrong and it should be stopped.

“However, I am extremely upset that Roger’s name was in this report based on the allegations of a troubled and unreliable witness who only came up with names after being threatened with possible prison time.”

In the release, Hardin's office specifically addressed the claims that were made in the Mitchell Report by Clemens' former trainer Brian McNamee, who also linked Andy Pettitte to steroids use.

"Brian McNamee, a former trainer who worked with Clemens on the Toronto Blue Jays and the New York Yankees, has repeatedly denied these current claims, including in June of this year when he was first contacted by federal investigators," the release stated. "According to McNamee, after a day of repeated denials to federal investigators, he changed his story under the threat of federal criminal prosecution. He says he was then forced by those federal prosecutorial authorities to tell the same story for inclusion in the Mitchell report."

Frankly, I believe little of what Clemens has to say. He should just fade quietly away and count the millions the Yankees threw at him.

I always considered Andy Pettitte more of a straight shooter and am disturbed to find out he may have also used performance-enhancing drugs.

Here's a complete list of players named in the Mitchell report, 77 in all. Many no longer are in baseball and quite a few I've never heard of (Tim Laker? Bobby Estalella? Bart Miadich?).

Now at least we know perhaps why John Rocker behaved so erratically.

Still, back in 2003, it was reported 7% of major leaguers failed drug tests, so I find the list to be fairly limited. Jose Canseco alleged in his book that many players used steroids or HGH, and I have to think many more than 77 managed to escape this report.

Still, it's a dark day for baseball, which really has a dilemma on its hands as to how to treat the records of some of the players listed. I think those who are Hall of Fame candidates such as Barry Bonds and Clemens may now have a long wait before they're ever enshrined in Cooperstown.

Former Met Attendant Naming Names

Looks like the dog is starting to hunt upstream now.

Report: Ex-clubhouse attendant revealed names of clients to Mitchell

NEW YORK -- A former Mets clubhouse attendant revealed the names of major league players who bought steroids from him to baseball's chief steroid investigator, SI.com reported Tuesday.

Kirk Radomski, who pleaded guilty in U.S. District Court in April to felony charges of distributing steroids and laundering money, met recently with former Senate Majority Leader George Mitchell, according to the report. He faces up to 25 years in prison and a $500,000 fine at his sentencing, scheduled for Sept. 7.

As part of the plea deal, Radomski agreed to testify before a grand jury, if needed, and to meet with investigators from baseball's own steroids investigation.

Now, understand that it is a far cry from this guy coming up with a list of names and proving the players took the stuff. They can always try the Gary Matthews Jr. defense of saying "yeah, I bought the stuff but I never took it and you can't prove otherwise."

True, but baseball does not have to prove it in a court of law to take action. Several things to consider:

First, Commissioner Bud Selig, if he ever grows a pair, can ban players for the good of the game. That is a possiblity here, and I think eventually he will have to make an example of some players, similar to the Black Sox scandal and Pete Rose, to put this behind them.

Second, Congress may decide they've had enough of this and step in, especially if it starts looking like the Player's Union is going to bluster their way through this. If I were involved in the union right now, I would be very careful and step very lightly in this situation.

Third, how long do you think it will take for that list of names to leak out? And won't it get interesting if a certain big-headed left handed home run hitter shows up on that list of names?

So far he admitted he took the stuff but said he did not realize it was steroids at the time. If he shows up on that list, then even that transparent cover story falls apart.

Then we will have asterisks everywhere in the record books.

Golfers on Steroids?

Are pro golfers juicing up?

Player says he knows of at least one golfer who has used 'roids

CARNOUSTIE, Scotland -- Gary Player said Wednesday he knows of at least one golfer who has used steroids, and he urged golf organizations to move quickly toward a random drug-testing plan.

"We're dreaming if we think it's not going to come into golf," Player said.

Player estimated 10 players from tours around the world were taking some type of performance-enhancing drug. Asked how he knew golfers were taking steroids, he said a player told him in confidence.

I would fall over in a dead faint if pro golf was totally clean. And it looks like most of the tours seem to agree with me.

Last year, the Royal & Ancient Golf Club of St. Andrews and the USGA used random testing for the first time at the World Amateur Team Championship in South Africa. All 12 tests came back negative.

The LPGA Tour said it would start drug testing next year, while the European and PGA tours also are moving toward drug policies. PGA Tour Tim Finchem said in June that drug testing in sports has become a reality and golf organizations around the world should make sure they're on the same page.

As far as the LPGA goes, I woud start out with certain very muscular women in their 30's who happen to have very peculiar cases of acne and tendancy in recent years to be hurt a lot. Not sayn', just sayn'.

And what does Captain Shortgame (otherwise known as Phil Mickelson, last seen throwing up all over himself at the Scottish open) have to offer on the subject?

I don't think there's even a remote chance that will happen," he said of a golfer testing positive for steroids.

Right Phil, and nobody on the tour ever sets up to a shot in the rough with a wood, then switches to an iron after they got grass tapped down nicely behind the ball, either.

I wonder if Mickelson said that with a straight face.

Miracle in Texas

Last night a miracle occurred in Texas. Sammy Sosa hit his 600th career home run and discovered how to speak and understand English at the same time.

No. 600 for Sammy

Playing for the Texas Rangers after a year out of baseball, Sosa became the fifth member of the 600-homer club Wednesday night when he connected against his former team.

"It was something that cannot be explained," Sosa said. "Getting my 600th against the Chicago Cubs, and my first team (was) the Texas Rangers. It's like everything clicked. My emotions, I don't know what they are."

When most of you last saw Mr. Sosa. it was several years ago and he was sitting in front of a Congressional hearing panel and a bunch of cameras. At that hearing Mr. Sosa struggled mightily to understand/speak basic English. He had problems undertanding what the words "steriods", "human growth hormone" meant, or even recognizing his own name for that matter. Then, when testing in the majors started, Mr. Sosa took a year off for some strange reason. He spent that year losing an amazing amount of weight and muscle tissue. He also apparently earned a doctorate in English from the University of Chicago, based on his current strong grasp of the English now that no one with subpoena power is asking him questions about steroids anymore.

In my book, Sosa's home runs do not count, nor do those of Barry Bonds, McGwire or most of the other over-bulked goofs from the last 20 years.