Mr T. Sings 'Take Me Out to the Ballgame'

For all the dreadful celebrity renditions we've had to endure over the years singing during the 7th inning stretch at Wrigley Field, and there are many, this one at least is pretty funny.

Hot Air links. Thanks!

Latest in Law Enforcement Technology: Cell Phone Sniffing Dogs

This blog is really going to the dogs. Earlier we noted a unique way to wash your pooch. Now comes word from Arizona that dogs are being used to combat the use of cell phones by prisoners.

Arizona corrections officials hope to have a dog capable of detecting cell phones in each state prison by the end of 2010, a move that would help authorities locate phones that can help further criminal activity.

The state Department of Corrections has four dogs that are either working or being trained to work in one of the state's 10 prisons to search for cell phones being hidden by inmates, officials said.

Cell phones are banned in prisons. Inmates found with phones can face disciplinary action and even criminal charges, depending on the severity of an incident in which a phone was used.

Inmates can use the phones to conduct criminal activity, including drug transactions and gang business, beyond prison walls, said Ralph Pendergast, trainer for the service-dog program and an administrator with the Corrections Department.

Cell phones also can aid inmates who try to escape or actually do escape, said Angelo Daniels, commander of the Correctional Officer Training Academy in Tucson, where the dogs are trained.

Pendergast said the department began training the dogs last May. Virginia was the first state to start using dogs to find cell phones, he said.

The dogs have helped Arizona corrections officers confiscate about 50 phones so far, Pendergast said.

The dogs are trained to identify four unique odors associated with cell phones and their components, said Kenny Vance, a service-dog trainer for the Corrections Department. The dogs also can detect batteries and phone chargers.

Vance said inmates usually get or buy the cell phones from visitors, contractors who work at the prison and staff members who sneak the phones in.

It can cost between $400 and $800 for an inmate to buy a cell phone inside a prison, Vance said.

Seems to me they ought to do a better job preventing them from being smuggled in.

Perez Hilton Suicide Watch: California Supreme Court Upholds Prop 8

Just in from the California Supreme Court. They've upheld Prop 8.

The California Supreme Court today upheld Proposition 8’s ban on same-sex marriage but also ruled that gay couples who wed before the election will continue to be married under state law.

The decision virtually ensures another fight at the ballot box over marriage rights for gays. Gay rights activists said they may ask voters to repeal the marriage ban as early as next year, and opponents have pledged to fight any such effort. Proposition 8 passed with 52% of the vote.

By a 52-48 margin, voters approved the measure reinstating a ban on same-sex marriage after the state Supreme Court, in a landmark ruling last May, approved such marriages. Left in limbo were about 18,000 couples who got married in California between May and November of last year.

The case for overturning the initiative was widely viewed as a long shot. Gay rights lawyers had no solid legal precedent on their side, and some of the court’s earlier holdings on constitutional revisions mildly undercut their arguments.

Expect that battle in 2010 to get very ugly, especially if the behavior of the losers since last November is any indication.

This ruling cannot be appealed to the U.S. Supreme Court.

Perfect excuse for a Carrie Prejean photo.

Heh: Freaky Boy calls it institutionalized discrimination. I guess this makes the California Supreme Court a bunch of homophobes.

Update: Some thoughts from Ed Morrissey.

Confirming the marriages also appears to be the correct decision. When the couples got their licenses and had the ceremonies performed, the law in the state (as dictated by the court) allowed for those marriages. Proposition 8 changed the law, but it cannot apply ex post facto. Since those licenses were valid and backed by the state at the time they were issued, the court had little choice but to approve them — and their unanimous judgment speaks to the common sense conclusion.

However, that does set up an interesting point for a federal appeal. If the plaintiffs in this case argue against this dichotomy on an equal-protection basis, a federal court might find that intriguing enough to consider. Even if that doesn’t work, the plaintiffs plan on a new referendum that will reverse Proposition 8. Something tells me that this will be a more or less permanent feature on California’s ballots for the foreseeable future.

Michelle Malkin wonders if the mob will be able to control themselves.

I doubt it.

Some advocacy journalism from the San Francisco Chronicle.

For those not in San Francisco or LA to celebrate/mourn Tuesday's Prop 8 ruling, the progressive techies over at CREDO Mobile offer a way to find the nearest pro-same sex marriage rally by using SMS.

Rather than mourning, how about acting like adults?

Nice comment from something called sfprogressive.

sfprogressive5/26/2009 10:35:38 AM

The Republicans are probably planning to make people of color against the law next. We need to pass a law that makes all churches and the Republicans "hate groups" and put them in jail so they can't vote in 2010 when SSM is back on the ballot.

Why would the Republicans do that when it was the black vote that ensured passage of Prop 8?

Comments like this are sure to win over opponents of gay marriage.

ted25/26/2009 10:27:22 AM

Way to go Christian Taliban! Whoo-Hoo! They'll be swilling dem sum communion wine tonight.

Do these nitwits even realize the Taliban would behead them for being gay?

Well, it looks like the mob is ready for battle.

secede2succeed5/26/2009 10:26:30 AM

Prop 8 will be made invalid. This IS going to happen, WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT!

Guess some aren't taking this well. And another:

harostrait5/26/2009 11:18:37 AM

"I'm feeling my resentment for the Mormons and Catholic Church rising again."

Do something about it. Take some action tonight, be it legal or not.

Just killing their cause.

Update: Some responsible thoughts from GayPatriot. A shame the media runs to the militant, angry gays for comment instead of those in the gay community who act like adults.

Linked at Michelle Malkin. Thanks!

Thanks also to Legal Insurrection for the link.

Great News: Obama Picks Radical Hack for Supreme Court

This is sure to go over well in conservative circles.

President Obama will nominate appeals court judge Sonia Sotomayor for the Supreme Court, multiple news outlets are reporting.

Sotomayor, 54, would be the first Hispanic and third woman in history to serve on the nation's highest court. There is currently only one woman on the high court, Ruth Bader Ginsburg.

Sotomayor is based in New York City. President Clinton appointed her to the 2nd U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals back in 1998. She is a graduate of Princeton University and Yale Law School.

Sotomayor likes to make policy from the bench.

Wonderful.



SCOTUSBlog thinks she'll sail to an easy confirmation. Quite possibly, assuming the GOP quakes in fear at the thought of opposing a Hispanic nominee. No question the media and Democrats will accuse the slightest opposition of being racist, anti-Hispanic, etc.

Here's a case against her.

The most consistent concern was that Sotomayor, although an able lawyer, was "not that smart and kind of a bully on the bench," as one former Second Circuit clerk for another judge put it. "She has an inflated opinion of herself, and is domineering during oral arguments, but her questions aren't penetrating and don't get to the heart of the issue."

Not that smart, an inflated opinion of herself and a bully.

Hmmm. Sounds like the guy who just nominated her.

The Littlest Pool Shark

Aww, how cute. The little guy will probbaly be hustling by the time he reaches kindergarten.

Keith O'Dell Jr. is still in diapers, but the 2-year-old boy is already a pool shark with a mean bank shot, although he has to stand on a chair to reach the table.

When his father posted videos of his son in action on YouTube, it drew the attention of CNN, local stations and Rachael Ray, among others.

Now the upstate New York toddler is the youngest member of the American Pool Association and has his own Web site, www.poolprodigy.com.

'We'd Heard Every Single Gag There Is and We'd Had Enough'

Looks like they finally put this behind them.

In the end, the constant jokes were just too much to take for the long-suffering residents of Butt Hole Road.

Groups of youths used to visit the street and bare their backsides for photographs while many delivery firms simply refused to believe it existed.

And coachloads of amused American tourists frequently turned up to view the sign after it appeared in a US book.

And so despairing households in the suburban street in Conisbrough, South Yorkshire, decided that the road's name simply had to change.

They spent £300 to change their address to the rather more palatable Archers Way.
Resident Peter Sutton said he originally thought the street's name would be fun - but admits he soon got tired of the jokes.

Mr Sutton moved into the house vacated in 2003 by Paul and Lisa Allott, who were forced to move after becoming fed up with their street's name.

Mr Allott said: 'We'd heard every single gag there is and we'd had enough.

'We've had people flashing their bottoms for photographs by the drive, we've had people ringing us up with hilarious jokes about the street name and then we've had those who just don't believe us.

'All the other street names around here are quite sensible.

'I just can't see why they didn't call it Butt Hall Road, or something like that. I've no idea why it was named like this.'

Norks Fire Two Short-Range Missiles

Gee, I hope this doesn't interrupt Obama's fundraising trip to Las Vegas. After all, he's got to keep his priorities in order.

North Korea fired two short-range missiles from its east coast Tuesday -- a day after conducting a nuclear test -- South Korea's Yonhap news agency reported, citing a South Korean official.

"The North is continuing its saber-rattling," the unnamed official said.

The firings came a day after the reclusive communist state conducted a nuclear test and fired another short-range missile.

"We should be clear that these are short-range missiles. They are in the realm of anti-ship or anti-aircraft missiles, not missiles designed to target cities or other country population centers," said analyst Daniel Pinkston of the International Crisis Group, which describes itself as an independent non-profit group committed to preventing and resolving deadly conflict.

The U.N. Security Council condemned Monday's nuclear test as a "clear violation" of international law.

Even the North's closest ally criticized its actions. China said North Korea "disregarded the opposition of the international community."

Spot Wash: 'The Dogs Don't Seem To Get Bored'

Figures the French would come up with something like this. After all, you don't want to expend to much energy cleaning your dog.

I just hope Michael Vick doesn't buy one of these.

There are dog walkers, and doggy day care. And now -- canine fluff 'n' fold.

A French entrepreneur has invented an automatic dog-washing machine that promises to clean and dry dirty pooches in 30 minutes or less.

Romain Jarry, 31, insists his Dog-o-Matic is humane, but this photo of it at work in his hometown of Saint-Max suggests something more akin to canine waterboarding.

Does Nancy Pelosi have one of these?

"The dogs don't seem to get bored," he told Britain's Daily Mail newspaper. "They just sit there, and they come out clean."

The Greening of the Slums

Wonderful. Rather than helping people escape poverty and housing projects, our Dear Leader is making them more "energy efficient" or some such nonsense. With union labor, of course. Whatever the case, you're all picking up the tab.

Some $4 billion from President Obama's $787 billion economic stimulus plan that was budgeted to renovate public housing will be spent to create so-called "green jobs" by making the dwellings more energy efficient.

Housing Secretary Shaun Donovan should make the announcement Tuesday in Denver at a meeting of Obama's Middle Class Task Force.

Labor Secretary Hilda Solis, another task force member, also will announce that $500 million from the stimulus is becoming available to train workers for these jobs. That sum includes $50 million for communities battered by job losses and restructuring in the auto industry.

Both Donovan and Solis also were announcing that their departments are working together to make it easier for public housing residents to find training programs or a green job.

The task force, which includes several other Cabinet secretaries, has been working since January to highlight policies and practices to help improve the standard of living of the middle class, an income group that suffered as the economy faltered.

The meeting at the Denver Science Museum, where Obama signed the stimulus plan into law three months ago, was being held to outline different ways government departments are working together to steer the middle class toward green jobs.

These jobs, broadly defined as related to helping the environment, pay up to 20 percent more than other jobs, are more likely to be union jobs and are more likely to be held by men, less so by minorities and people who live in cities, according to a report the task force issued in February. These jobs also are ones that cannot be easily transferred overseas.

Curious, isn't it, that minorities, while overwhelmingly the residents of public housing, are less likely to be getting one of these "green" jobs?

'People Think This Is a Joke. We're Not a Joke'

Whenever someone needs to remind you they're not a joke, well, the laugh is on them.

Although frankly I long ago stopped laughing at these buffoons.

“New World Order,” which premieres tonight on the Independent Film Channel, is a film about people battling with phantoms. They are volunteers in an "information war" who see as clearly, as John saw his four Apocalyptic horsemen and seven trumpeting angels, that 9/11 was an "inside job," that the military-industrial complex killed Kennedy, and that an international "power elite" is plotting to enslave us all, excepting for those it will kill outright.

They are hard to pigeonhole politically, these conspiracy adepts, trusting neither the "socialist Democrats" nor the "fascist Republicans" -- Ron Paul seems to be their man, if anyone is -- yet sounding as often like '60s leftist radicals as right-wing militiamen. They take the 1st Amendment as seriously as any card-carrying member of the ACLU, styling themselves muckrakers and speakers of truth to power, often through a bullhorn.

The man with the biggest bullhorn is Alex Jones, an Austin, Texas-based syndicated radio host and maker of such films as "Endgame: Blueprint for Global Enslavement" (116 five-star reviews on Amazon.com) and "Martial Law 9-11: The Rise of the Police State," and the point through which all the strands connect in this unexpectedly affecting, nonjudgmental documentary by Luke Meyer and Andrew Neel. Meyer and Neel don't get in the way of their subjects; there are no talking heads or title cards to contradict their worldview, or even to put it in perspective, only the occasional collision of the theorists' certain knowledge with others' actual experience.

Note this piece is dated May 26, so this show will be on IFC Tuesday evening. No doubt the crackpot Alex Jones will be reveling in his own buffoonery.

But many of his fellows and followers seem something closer to sad -- hurt, almost, by What They Know. If anything, "New World Order" plays as a bittersweet, all-too-human comedy. Like the pair's previous documentary, “Darkon,” which looked at a self-described "full-contact medieval fantasy war-gaming group," it's a film about people who have found the thing that gives their lives shape and meaning, that corrals the world's random messiness into a unified theory of disaster. It does not make them happy, but the scales having fallen from their eyes; they are helpless to look away and too terrified not to speak out. Their zeal is literally missionary.

"This is more important than how much Britney Spears' hair sold for on EBay, 'Dancing With the Stars' or who's gonna be America's next idol," says one believer. "People think this is a joke. We're not a joke."

Yes, and nobody will be laughing at your idiocy.

Norks Test Nukes, Obama Goes Golfing and Then Heads for Fundraiser

Glad to see the President in Training Pants is keeping a serious eye on world developments.

President Barack Obama hit the golf course after marking his first Memorial Day as commander in chief.

The president's motorcade took him to Fort Belvoir in Virginia. That's where he went for a game of golf more than a week ago.

Obama grabbed his clubs after he participated in Memorial Day observances at Arlington National Cemetery. He laid a wreath at the Tomb of the Unknowns and, in brief remarks, saluted the men and women of America's fighting forces as "the best of America."

Don't worry, though, he's back to serious business tomorrow.

A fundraiser for Dingy Harry in Las Vegas.

Sorry to be a little late with this, but we got tied up with that brief North Korea global security threat thingy and then the president's golf game in the rain. And his packing for the Las Vegas fundraising excursion junket tomorrow. And, who knows, maybe even the Supreme Court nomination before leaving.

Maybe it's just me, but it might send a better message if you skipped golf and fundraising during an international crisis.

What We've All Been Waiting For: Twitter, the TV Series

How they'll milk a full-length show out of 140 characters is anyone's guess.

Twitter, the Web site that asks what everybody's doing, says it wants to be doing a TV series.

The social-networking service said Monday it has teamed with Reveille productions and Brillstein Entertainment Partners to develop an unscripted series based on the site, which invites 140-character postings from members around the world.

The show would harness Twitter to put players on the trail of celebrities in an interactive, competitive format.

The producers call their proposed series the first to bring the immediacy of Twitter to the TV screen.

"Twitter is transforming the way people communicate, especially celebrities and their fans," said Reveille managing director Howard T. Owens, who expects the new project to "unlock Twitter's potential on TV."

No further details were made available on the show's format or when it might hit the air.

Of course if you want every thought of mine uttered for public consumption, you can visit me here. Just a Grunt is also on there, much longer than I've been.

How's That Smart Diplomacy Working Out?

Uh oh, Bammy's angry now. Probably so fired up his TelePrompter is cobbling together a strongly-worded denunciation as we speak.

The international community has condemned North Korea after it carried out an underground nuclear test with a payload comparable to the American bombs that hit Hiroshima and Nagasaki in 1945.

U.S. President Barack Obama said the move was 'a threat to international peace and security'.

He added: 'These actions, while not a surprise given its statements and actions to date, are a matter of grave concern to all nations.'

North Korea carried out the 'successful' underground nuclear test early this morning, triggering an artificial earthquake with a magnitude of 4.7.

The blast appears to be up to 20 times more powerful than the country's first nuclear test carried out just three years ago.

Then, the blast was measured at just one kiloton - but today's blast was estimated by the Russian defence ministry to be up to 20 kilotons.

The bomb that America dropped on Hiroshima in 1945 carried a payload of 15 kilotons while the one that hit Nagasaki was 22 kilotons, according to nuclearweaponarchive.org.

One kiloton is equal to the force produced by 1,000 tons of TNT.

Time to flex that spine of steel now, isn't it?

It's really shame he's becoming distracted by these pesky little world issues. I'm sure he'd prefer to get back to the important stuff, like attacking radio talk show hosts.

'They've Turned It Into the Anderson Cooper Network, and It's Not Working'

Smug sanctimony can only take you so far, apparently.

The former host of "Celebrity Mole" should be happy he signed a multimillion-dollar, multiyear contract with CNN last year during the presidential race, when ratings were at an all-time high. If his contract were up now, Cooper would probably have to settle for far less.

The ratings have plunged for his show, "Anderson Cooper 360," since Obama's inauguration, and the drop in May has been steeper, especially in the coveted 25-54 demographic, where he's down nearly 30 percent from the previous month, averaging less than 250,000 demo viewers.

Tuesday night, Cooper raked in only 615,000 viewers overall. But it wasn't his slowest night ever -- that was May 8, when he clocked in a lousy 499,000 viewers.

A rep for Cooper wouldn't discuss May numbers but said, "Year to date, 'AC360' is having its second-best performance ever with an average of 1.161 million overall viewers and 369,000 in the target demographic. It has an impressive 51 percent advantage over MSNBC in total viewers and a 41 percent lead over MSNBC in the 25-54 demographic."

But insiders say top brass is questioning the CNN strategy of focusing so narrowly on Cooper in all their promos. "They've turned it into the Anderson Cooper network, and it's not working," said one source.

Maybe they should invite Liz Cheney back to throw another beating on him.

I'd tune in for that.

'Don't Take My F- - -ing Picture!'

Poor Jonathan Papelbon. Getting taken deep by a scrub from the Mets has him coming unglued. A shame he can't accept defeat like a man.

Talk about your sore losers!

Boston Red Sox closer Jonathan Papelbon took out his frustrations on Post photographer Anthony Causi Saturday night, hurling a towel at the lensman after blowing a save opportunity against the Mets.

Papelbon had just surrendered a two-run homer to backup catcher Omir Santos -- leading to a 3-2 Amazin' victory -- when Causi had the audacity to do his job and photograph the closer as he sulked in the Sox dugout in the bottom of the ninth.

Papelbon screamed, "Don't take my f- - -ing picture," according to Causi, before throwing his towel at him

It should be noted: Papelbon missed Causi.

"I guess he missed with two pitches that night," Causi cracked.

Ouch.

Papelbon ought to grow up and act like a professional.

Causi contrasted Papelbon's behavior with that of Yankee closer Mariano Rivera. The fotog recalled taking a picture of Rivera last month at Fenway Park just after the ace reliever blew a save against Boston.

"He knew I was shooting him, and he didn't say a word," Causi said. "A true champion realizes you got to take the good with the bad."

Newsweek Boob: Iran's Not a Dictatorship, Doesn't Want Nukes

There's naivete and there's downright stupidity. Then there's Fareed Zakaria, Newsweek hack, employing a robust combination of the two.

Iran isn't a dictatorship. It is certainly not a democracy. The regime jails opponents, closes down magazines and tolerates few challenges to its authority. But neither is it a monolithic dictatorship. It might be best described as an oligarchy, with considerable debate and dissent within the elites. Even the so-called Supreme Leader has a constituency, the Assembly of Experts, who selected him and whom he has to keep happy. Ahmadinejad is widely seen as the "mad mullah" who runs the country, but he is not the unquestioned chief executive and is actually a thorn in the side of the clerical establishment. He is a layman with no family connections to major ayatollahs—which makes him a rare figure in the ruling class. He was not initially the favored candidate of the Supreme Leader in the 2005 election. Even now the mullahs clearly dislike him, and he, in turn, does things deliberately designed to undermine their authority. Iran might be ready to deal. We can't know if a deal is possible since we've never tried to negotiate one, not directly. While the regime appears united in its belief that Iran has the right to a civilian nuclear program—a position with broad popular support—some leaders seem sensitive to the costs of the current approach. It is conceivable that these "moderates" would appreciate the potential benefits of limiting their nuclear program, including trade, technology and recognition by the United States. The Iranians insist they must be able to enrich uranium on their own soil. One proposal is for this to take place in Iran but only under the control of an international consortium. It's not a perfect solution because the Iranians could—if they were very creative and dedicated—cheat. But neither is it perfect from the Iranian point of view because it would effectively mean a permanent inspections regime in their country. But both sides might get enough of what they consider crucial for it to work. Why not try this before launching the next Mideast war?

So let's just bury our head in the sand while the Iranians say one thing and do another.

Sure, that'll work.

It should make us all really comfortable to know this is a favored author of Obama.

Meanwhile, in the same issue of Newsweek, Mr. Potato Head declares the Iranians aren't fanatics. More comforting thoughts.

The Iranians have always been extremely well briefed on the details. They know what they want. They are excellent on the strategic goals, excellent on waiting for the right price. I don't want to make them sound like superhumans; you do see a lot of infighting among them. And part of it is about who is going to get credit for finally breaking out of this 30 years of fighting and confrontation with the United States. Everybody is positioning himself to be the national hero who would finally put Iran back onto the world map as part of the mainstream. They are not like the stereotyped fanatics bent on destroying everybody around them. They are not.

Really?

Yawn. Another Mushy Moderate Goes After Rush

First it was Colin Powell this morning. Now it's Tom Ridge.

If anything, they're doing show prep for Rush Limbaugh's Tuesday program.

"Rush Limbaugh has an audience of 20 million people. A lot of people listen daily to him and live by every word. But words mean things and how you use words is very important," Ridge, the former Homeland Security Secretary under President Bush, said during an interview airing Sunday on CNN's State of The Union.

"It does get the base all fired up and he's got a strong following," Ridge continued. "But personally, if he would listen to me and I doubt if he would, the notion is express yourself but let's respect others opinions and let's not be divisive."

Yup, let's not be divisive, like Obama's pal Wanda Sykes.

'Rush Will Not Get His Wish and Mr. Cheney Was Misinformed'

Well maybe you can stop bad-mouthing two of the most popular conservatives out there. Maybe apologize for endorsing Obama while you're at it.

Former Secretary of State Colin Powell touted his Republican credentials Sunday, shooting down pointed criticism from Rush Limbaugh and Dick Cheney that he had abandoned the GOP.

Limbaugh has called on Powell to join the Democrats, while Cheney has said he believes Powell already left his party.

"Rush will not get his wish and Mr. Cheney was misinformed. I am still a Republican," Powell said on CBS' "Face the Nation."

While standing by his loyalty to the Republicans, Powell defended his endorsement of President Obama last fall and continued to call on the Republican Party to be more moderate and expand its base.

"You can only do two things with a base. You can sit on it and watch the world go by, or you can build on it," Powell said. He said the party should be more inclusive.

This kind of advice has riled some conservatives, who warn that too much moderation will cause the Republican Party to merely mimic the Democrats. In calling for the party to be more moderate, Powell has also criticized conservatives like talk show host Limbaugh.

Tats All, Folks

This could well turn out the be a recession-proof business: Tattoo removal. Morons snap out of it and realize tattoos in all the wrong places prevent them from getting jobs.

Duh.

When the Dow is low, the "tramp stamp" has to go.

Dermatologists across the city are reporting a boom in tattoo laser removals, as body-art fanatics fretting over their professional image rush to erase their inky mistakes.

"People can't afford to handicap themselves be cause of a tattoo in a tight job market," said Dr. Jeffrey Rand, founder of the Tattoo Removal Center in Midtown. "We're seeing a huge surge right now in people getting rid of their tattoos."

Mobeen Yasin, a graduate student at Mercy College, said the script tattoo of his first name creeping around his neck is a liability.

"I can cover it with a collared shirt, but if I turn my head it sticks out," said Yasin, a 22-year-old planning a career in finance or law enforcement. "I used to idolize rappers with tattoos. Now I don't want it to hold me back from getting a job."

There's a fortune to be made off NBA players, that's for sure.

Clip Job

It's not every day you see and elephant getting his nails done.

That's one pampered pachyderm!

An Asian elephant named Boyu got a jumbo-sized pedicure yesterday, courtesy of his Ukrainian zoo handlers.

Equipped with mechanical nail files and mini-sanders, Boyu's zookeepers methodically buffed and trimmed while the 39-year-old elephant snoozed under an anaesthetic.

A group of German vets flew to the Ukrainian zoo to lend a hand with the delicate procedure, which involved sedating the colossal creature, carefully rolling him over, and then hoisting his titanic tootsies onto a special platform.