Cannes Film Festival Results Are In

Or worthless awards handed out to hack actors and movie industry folks you have never heard of.

Sean Penn was the presiding judge for this years "we are better then you cause we can stay awake watching 4 hour films with subtitles" competition. And speaking of 4-hour films, the winner for best actor went to Benicio Del Toro, I think it stands for "I am so full of bull", for his portrayal of, wait for it, Che Guevara.

Benicio Del Toro won Cannes' best-actor prize for "Che," Steven Soderbergh's four-hour-plus epic about Latin American revolutionary Che Guevara. Presented as two films, "Che" follows Guevara and Fidel Castro's triumphant guerrilla campaign to overthrow Cuba's government in the late 1950s and Guevara's downfall and execution after trying to foment a similar rebellion in Bolivia in the 1960s.

Del Toro, who co-starred in Penn's "21 Grams," also won in a unanimous jury vote, Penn said.

"I'd like to dedicate this to the man himself, Che Guevara," said Del Toro. He also thanked Soderbergh, "who got up every day, forced me to this. ... He was there pushing it, and he pushed all of us."

His previous roles included Duke the Dog-Faced Boy in 1988's Big Top Pee-Wee.