Eighth Circle of Hell, Celebutard Edition

In this corner, weighing in at 120 pounds, toting a massive ego, phony British accent and an insatiable lust for attention, it's Madonna!

And in these two corners, tipping the scales at a svelte 864 pounds, the guy with bacon grease on his chin, it's Michael 'Snacks' Moore!

Honestly, is it possible to dream up a more cloying, grating, loathsome pairing than these two?

It's the perfect match of countercultural icons --Michiganders Michael Moore and Madonna.

Madge, now a Brit who has deigned not to perform in metro Detroit on her last three tours, will bring her African documentary about Malawi -- "I Am Because We Are" -- to the Traverse City Film Festival on Aug. 2. Moore founded the fest.

She'll be at a gala screening at the town's historic State Theatre. Tickets are to go on sale June 7; the theater holds about 540. Details will come next week.

Let there be hype!

Yawn.