Dopey Burress Told Hospital He Was Shot at Applebees; Still Laughing and Joking About Incident

The farcical saga of the idiotic Plaxico Burress continues to unravel and is now reaching comical levels. Unfortunately for many others, they may all be dragged down with him.

Trouble-prone Giants receiver Plaxico Burress desperately tried to sidestep the law after shooting himself in the leg with an illegal handgun he carried into a Midtown nightclub - getting workers at the hot spot and at a top city hospital to lie for him, sources told The Post yesterday.

Details of the hectic hours Burress spent trying to conceal his bone-headed blunder emerged as he said he would surrender to the NYPD today. Detectives last night seized the .40-caliber gun from his New Jersey home.

His web of deceit included:

* Taking his gun from the Midtown club Latin Quarter, where workers never called authorities and even cleaned up afterward.

* Spending about 90 minutes making frantic calls to figure out where his wound could be discreetly treated.

* Getting special treatment at New York-Cornell Hospital, where he gave his name as Harris Smith, saying he'd been shot at an Applebee's restaurant. Nonetheless, hospital workers recognized him as Plaxico Burress, sources said, and the gunshot was not reported, as required by law.

Police found the gun last night at the Super Bowl hero's Totowa home, sources said, after they were told it was in his kitchen. He was not home at the time.

He plans to turn himself in at the 17th Precinct station house, said his lawyer, Benjamin Brafman.

Burress, 31, will be slapped with a felony gun charge and plead not guilty, his lawyer said.

Cops believe that Burress - who took the bullet cleanly through his right thigh at the club late Friday night - was with teammate Antonio Pierce and an unidentified woman as they worked the phones to choose a hospital, sources said.

Detectives were checking whether a Giants team trainer was among those called for advice, the sources said.

The trio was logged in at 2:45 a.m. by a New York-Cornell security guard, according to records reviewed by the police. The facility is connected with The Hospital for Special Surgery - a popular choice among elite athletes, where Burress was once treated himself. He was out about 10 hours later.

Hospital workers recognized Burress and agreed not to report the incident to police, the sources said.

It turns out a third Giant, Ahmad Bradshaw, was also with Burress and Pierce. It's unclear whether Bradshaw, who served time last summer for a Virginia burglary several years ago, will face any charges. Pierce may likely some misdemeanor local charges, but if he had a hand in transporting the gun over to New Jersey, could face some federal charge of transporting a weapon across state lines.

So all because of the incredible stupidity of Burress, we've got two teammates facing possible legal problems, along with an untold number of club and hospital employees.

Good career move, Plaxico.

Meanwhile, short of being shot in the head, he apparently will never get it.

Burress' reaction to all this?

He laughed.

"He called me laughing and grinning," fellow New York Giant Brandon Jacobs told reporters. "He is doing fine. He is feeling good. I called him and made a few jokes about the situation and he laughed - which is what I wanted to hear.

"He shouldn't be down because it is a mistake that happened," said the running back.

It's a mistake that could cost Burress dearly, despite his lawyer's vow that he'll plead not guilty to charges of criminal possession of a weapon. For the first time, his bosses at the Meadowlands hinted that his career as a Giant could be in jeopardy.

Memo to anyone on the Giants: Stay clear of this dud if you know what's good for you.