'We Must Have Broken a New Record for Grosses'

Good grief, this is even more pathetic than that endless string of bomb anti-war flicks Hollywood kept churning out during the Bush years.

Uma Thurman's recent flick, "Motherhood," was dead on arrival at the box office -- raking in an inconceivable $131 at its London opening.

The Oscar-nominated actress slew more people in her "Kill Bill" series of flicks than bothered to show for the debut of the movie at the Apollo West End in Piccadilly Circus -- a mere dozen, according to a report in The Guardian newspaper.

On Sunday, just one soul decided to fork over $13 to see the Katherine Dieckmann-directed film, the paper reported.

Here's what viewers were in store for: "Shot entirely on location in New York's West Village, this bittersweet comedy distills the dilemmas of the maternal state (marriage, work, self, and not necessarily in that order) into the trials and tribulations of one pivotal day."

"Motherhood" producers say the appallingly anemic take stemmed from the dunderheaded move to show the film in just one theater for its debut last Sunday.

According to the report, the producers were hoping that the exclusivity would generate buzz around the movie, with people lining up for blocks to see it.

The move has now set off a war of words between producer Jana Edelbaum and marketing firm Metrodrome.

Stinkier than a dirty diaper at the US box office -- raking in just $60,000 during its opening weekend last October -- Edelbaum's going to need to make up a lot of ground to recoup the film's $5 million production costs.

"You're kidding!" the incredulous filmmaker said when she was told about the film's performance across the pond. "We must have broken a new record for grosses."