Stupid Democrat Tricks: Brooklyn Pol To Swim Sludge-Infested Waters for High-Speed Internet

You have to figure if this schmuck had any clout his district would already have been wired with the broadband dreams of his desire, but I've never even heard of this chump so desperate men seemingly will do anything for optimum browsing speed, even if it means taking a dip in waters so foul the EPA strongly recommends against it. By my thinking I have to think this guy is either completely loco or, considering he's from Brooklyn, could well be a Chuckie Schumer acolyte and knows that there are no depths one won't sink to to get thee some camera time.

If I were a Google rep I'd show up promising the next generation technology complete with TV cameras and promises of free Internet access and then make sure the guy got the latest in dial-up technology. He'd never know any better since he'd be in the ER fighting off the toxic damage from swimming in hazardous waste.

A Brooklyn assemblyman is offering to swim in the notoriously polluted Newtown Creek if Internet giant Google installs high-speed Internet in his district.

"I used to swim in the Newtown Creek ... and in the East River when I was a kid," said Joe Lentol (D-Greenpoint). "It was polluted at that time, if not worse than it is now. I think I can survive."

The filthy waterway that separates Brooklyn and Queens is so dirty the Environmental Protection Agency is mulling whether to designate it a Superfund hazardous-waste site.

Not to worry, said the 67-year-old Lentol, who doesn't swim laps regularly but is confident he can navigate the murky water.

"It isn't any worse than it was in the old days," he said, adding he would agree to any conditions Google makes.

Earlier this year, Google announced it would install and test a number of ultrahigh-speed broadband networks throughout the country that will be up to 100 times faster than current ones - triggering stunts by politicians trying to win over Google.

Of course the old days for Lentol were what, the mid 1950s? But hey, who are we to stop him from reminiscing?

The EPA disagrees with his tactics. "We strongly advise against swimming in Newtown Creek," said spokeswoman Beth Totman.

Don't listen to her, Joe. Do it for the children.