'Campaigning with Kerry Would be Like Campaigning with Thurston Howell III on Gilligan’s Island'

Why the Long Face?

One question not being asked following John Kerry's yacht debacle is why is he not being hit with tax evasion charges? If you or I stiffed our home state to the tune of about a half million dollars we'd be facing felony charges at the least. Whatever the case, here's hoping Liveshot's Democrat brethren feel the pinch.

Buoyant Massachusetts Republicans say U.S. Sen. John Kerry’s boat tax bumbling could turn the state’s already storm-tossed Democratic congressional campaigns into a fleet of S.S. Minnows: at risk of being lost.

“Campaigning with Kerry would be like campaigning with Thurston Howell III on Gilligan’s Island,” said Jennifer Nassour, chairwoman of the state’s Republican Party. “Could he be more out of touch?”

GOP consultant Ron Kaufman expects Democrats to flee from what he called “the sinking ship.”

“The thing that kills you the most in politics is two things - arrogance and hypocrisy. (Kerry) represents both of those,” said Kaufman. Kerry’s choice to dock his $7 million yacht in tax-free Rhode Island plays into voter anger about out-of-touch Washington insiders - the same anger that pushed U.S. Sen. Scott Brown to victory, he said.

If the Republicans are right, that could make the state’s senior senator an electoral albatross. A spokesman for U.S. Rep. Niki Tsongas (D-Lowell) declined to say if she would welcome Kerry at the oars in her own re-election bid. But former state Democratic Chairman Phil Johnston called the boat scandal a passing squall.

“I think John Kerry remains very popular,” said Johnston, a consultant for congressional candidate and Norfolk District Attorney William Keating. “Bill Keating would be happy to have (Kerry) campaign for him.”

Tory Mazzola of the National Republican Congressional Committee, countered that the squall hit at the worst possible time for Dems fishing for Brown voters.

“It is certainly a drag on Democrats going into a tough election season where they already have to defend a record of raising taxes and spending recklessly,” said Mazzola. “When it comes time to pay their bill to Uncle Sam they conveniently forget.”

Howie Carr can't help but gloat.

Sen. John “Liveshot” Kerry was so angry last night he threw somebody else’s tax bill over the White House wall.

The real JFK had PT 109, and now all John Forbes Kerry is left with is PT 1099.

Even Christy Mihos and Jack E. Robinson held out longer against the DOR than Liveshot did, and that reminds the senior senator of what he likes least about the 21st century: The Globe can’t protect him anymore.

Why, did you see those riff-raff reporters Monday in Weymouth, chasing him into the SUV, asking him those impertinent questions about his tax evasion?

Don’t those ruffians know who John Kerry almost was? Why, if Diebold hadn’t stolen all those votes in Ohio in 2004, it’d be Liveshot’s picture hanging in the lobby of the Yale Club on 44th Street in New York City, right alongside Clinton’s and Bush’s.

Would that it were, would that it were...

Why the long face, Sen. Kerry?

You know very well what Mama T served him for dinner last night - hot tongue and cold shoulder - especially when he started asking her questions like “Lovey, have you seen the checkbook?”

He’ll be down at the bank first thing this morning: “Can I get me a cashier’s check for a half-million dollars here?”

Oliver Wendell Holmes said, “Taxes are what we pay for civilized society.”

Or as John Kerry would put it, “Taxes are what everybody but me pays for civilized society.”

Benjamin Franklin said, “In this world nothing is certain but death and taxes.”

That, and rich liberal Democrats trying to cheat on their taxes.