'The World Cup Has Been Devastating'

Now that the World Cup is warpping up today, who's been the biggest loser? Why prostitutes, it appears. Guess there just weren't enough politicians down there to keep them busy.

The influx of thousands of soccer fans would increase demand on South African sex workers; at least that was the belief of a leading expert prior to the start of the 2010 World Cup.

But it seems fans of the beautiful game that traveled to the Rainbow Nation have created a flop in sex-worker business -- leaving prostitutes out-of-pocket and out of work -- in favor of more high-brow pursuits.

"The World Cup has been devastating. We thought it was going to be a cash cow but it's chased a lot of the business away. It's been the worst month in my company's history," the owner and founder of one of Johannesburg's most exclusive escort companies told CNN.

"No one is interested in sex at the moment. I think we've had three customers who traveled here for the World Cup which has seen my group's business drop by 80 percent. I enjoyed watching the games, but I can't wait for everyone to just go home now!" the madam, who works under the alias of "Tori," added.

'It Only Took a Couple of Seconds, But it Changed Donovan’s Life Forever'

Talk about a golden goal. While that dramatic goal of his Wednesday lifted the United States to the knockout round of the World Cup, it's also elevated Landon Donovan into an economic stratosphere normally reserved for international superstars of the game.

Cards played right, Donovan could be looking at a payday of at least $10 million.

Landon Donovan’s career will never be same after his dream World Cup goal – and neither will his bank balance.

Donovan’s memories of his injury-time goal against Algeria that kept the United States in the tournament are priceless. But there is also a very tangible side effect to that unforgettable moment, both to the midfielder’s wealth and his future prospects.

“It only took a couple of seconds, but it changed Donovan’s life forever,” said sports economics and advertising expert Paul Ridley, owner of leading London sports business firm Paul Ridley Limited. “Donovan is going to be a hot commodity after this and as long as he is managed correctly, $10 million is very attainable.”

The blueprint is there.

“Donovan can copy a little bit from David Beckham,” said Ridley, who launched Manchester United’s in-house television channel and has clients in Britain and the U.S. “He needs to carefully select the brands he wants to be associated with and make sure they fit his image – Brand Landon if you like.”

So, get used to seeing Donovan on your television screens for quite some time. The soccer buzz that accompanies a World Cup will obviously dissipate after the tournament ends and the American sports scene returns to its typical state.

Yet Donovan’s dramatic strike with just seconds remaining at Loftus Versfeld Stadium sent his star soaring and will greatly increase his marketability. He has gone from being just a soccer player, albeit America’s most famous one, to a clutch performer on the biggest stage of all.

And $10 million could be just the tip of the iceberg, compared to the money Donovan could earn playing club soccer in Europe.

'Blowing It As Hard As I Could'

Seriously, folks, it's time for vuvuzela control. How many people must be sacrificed before we're rid of this menace?

The vuvuzela really blows.

We know the plastic horns trumpeted by World Cup fans are annoying. Now they’ve become a health hazard.

A South African woman ruptured her throat by blowing the horn too hard, doctors told her.

The 3-foot noisemaker has become the unofficial symbol of the 2010 World Cup.

The horns have riled thousands of fans, players and commentators with their ear-piercing sound that resembles a beehive about to burst.

For 29-year-old Yvonne Mayer, the horn proved dangerous, too.

She said a co-worker gave her the horn and she brought it along to watch South Africa’s opening match with Mexico. She admits she was "blowing it as hard as I could."

"At first I thought I'd gone down with a bug, but the next day it was worse. When I went to the doctor, he took a look and then laughed," she told the Daily Mail.

"He said I'd ruptured my throat by blowing too hard, and that perhaps I had been doing it all wrong."

The forceful blowing put a tear in her throat, but no long-term damage is expected.

In other vuvuzela news, the USA today managed to fight back from an 0-2 hole to tie Slovenia.

Islamists Arrest People Watching World Cup Match

It can't be long before the left links this to some on the right not caring for the World Cup.

Reports from the city of Afgoye about 30 kilometers south of Somali capital Mogadishu that thirty one (31) world football cup fans were arrested last night have been confirmed by residents and Islamist militants from the city.

The arrests were made when heavily armed militants from the Hezbal radical group raided a house where the fans were watching the match between Germany and Australia.

“Thirty one (31) viewers including older men but mostly youths were jailed by the Islamist administration in Afgoye. My friends and I were watching in a house nearby but we switched off the TV when we heard sounds of gunshots. When we went outside we saw our villagers and neighbours being escorted by masked militants on their way to prison,” one of the city's residents said in a telephone conversation early in Monday.

Sheik Yuusuf Abuu Hamza. an official from the city's Islamist administration confirmed the arrest of world cup fans, accusing them of being guilty against Islam. “They have made a big mistake; they didn’t obey the orders not to watch the un-Islamic event of football so they will face punishment,” the militant official said.

Radical World Cup hater Tim Blair suggests as punishment the captives will be forced to watch the match over again.

Idiot Boston Globe Sportswriter: Conservatives Should Like the World Cup Because They Fascists or Something

Since liberals eat, drink and sleep politics, nothing is off-limits when it comes to taking cheap shots at conservatives. The past few days we've seen the cranky left hopping on the World Cup bandwagon in order to bash conservatives who dare to voice an opinion about soccer. All it took was an offhand comment from Glenn Beck and the folks living off our dime over at NPR took the ball and ran with it. Ace gently reminded them why it is soccer never has and never will capture the public imagination here in America because, you know, we have other, more prominent sports here we play and pay attention to.

I never played organized soccer as a kid because in the NYC neighborhood I grew up in we played baseball, basketball and football. That's it. Sure, there were some other activities kids had, but as far as team sports were concerned, that's all we had, so that's what you played. If I walked out the door with a soccer ball or some golf clubs I'd have found myself very lonely, or getting whacked around with a 9-iron.

Now I enjoy watching some World Cup games and follow the games to some extent. I'd love to see the USA fare well and enjoy watching some of the finer teams such as Brazil and Germany, who tend to make other teams look dreadfully inferior, as was the case Sunday when the Germans overwhelmed Australia.

Somehow since I, liked the rest of the planet, voiced my distaste about the incessant noise produced by the vuvuzelas, that has now incurred the ire of some Boston Globe hack who hates to bring politics into everything like the right supposedly does, but he just has to speak up since we're all just a bunch of xenophobic, fascistic yahoos because the noise everyone is complaining about gets on our nerves.

In case you missed it, the American Right is all a'tizzy about the World Cup. They're not having any of this, by God. Some of them have even abandoned Americanism entirely and lined up with the Cheating French Bastards on the issue of vuvuzelas -- which, I am sure, most of them believe is some sort of synonym for the naughty bits of which they've all heard rumors around the old campfire.

I have heard endlessly about how it is liberals who a) wedge their politics into every aspect of modern life, and b) go through life desperately afraid that someone, somewhere, is having fun. (In the conservative formulation, this usually means that the Someone is smoking a big cigar and lining up his next ex-wife.)

To my knowledge Rush Limbaugh hasn't mentioned the World Cup, likely because he's been on his honeymoon, but that doesn't stop Pierce from taking a swipe at him. He's heard endlessly how liberals wedge their politics into every aspect of modern life and goes about making our case. Thanks, Chuckie! The notion the right is upset any time people are having fun is patently absurd. We're the ones with a sense of humor and honestly, when was the last time you saw a Democrat laugh? Surely not anyone in Washington I've seen lately. Liberals are incapable of being funny or taking a joke, which is why they walk around miserable with a permanent scowl.

So Pierce wonders why it is we couldn't enjoy a game yesterday between Paraguay and Italy.

Look, kids. People aren't enjoying the World Cup because they're liberals. They're enjoying the World Cup because it's a Big Honking Deal and Americans love Big Honking Deals, and they're enjoying it because live daytime sports provide an excuse to duck out of work and into a cool, dark place that sells beer to watch Paraguay draw with Italy, two countries that conservatives historically should embrace, if only for nostalgia's sake. I mean, really, guys. Don't you have birth certificates to chase down? Lighten up, Francis.

How subtle. See, we should like a game between Paraguay and Italy because Paraguay was at one time run by a dictator and Italy 70 years ago was run by Mussolini.

Oh, OK, I get it now. We're all fascists and like dictators. Gee, that's a novel take from the left. OK, Charles, I'm all on board now. I bet you can't wait until the North Korea match so you can root along with your Communist pal Kim Jong-Il.

Remember, though, it's those of us on the right who inject our politics into everything. Using the World Cup to call people fascists is just telling the truth or something.

World Cup Fever

The official start of the World Cup soccer tournament is almost here, and just about everywhere but here in the United States, with the exception of the Hispanic community, who are no doubt rooting for their home countries rather then us, the excitement is reaching a fever pitch.

The United States first game is against England on June 12th. In a rare display of diplomatic fortitude the ambassador from the colonies has laid down the gauntlet to Britannia.

From: Philip Breeden, US Embassy London
To: Martin Longden, British Embassy Washington DC
Subject: World Cup Bet

Mr. Longden, It has not escaped our attention that a certain sporting event is fast approaching, and that our respective nations will soon be meeting on the fields of South Africa.

My Ambassador has asked me to see if your Ambassador might be interested in a small wager? We will understand if you decline, given the outcome of the last such encounter.

Sincerely, Philip Breeden, U.S. Embassy, London
________________________________

From: Martin Longden, British Embassy Washington DC
To: Philip Breeden, US Embassy London
Subject: Re: World Cup Bet

Mr. Breeden,

Even for such an exceptionally optimistic nation as the United States, I am struck by the confidence with which your Ambassador proposes this wager. It is testament, I assume, to the generosity of your great nation – since the British Ambassador does not anticipate paying out.

Your email does not specify the exact terms of the wager. May I suggest that, in the event of an England victory, the US Ambassador agrees to entertain the British Ambassador at a steak-house of his choosing in downtown DC? And in the event that the United States is able to engineer a fortuitous win over England, then my man will entertain yours at a London pub of his choosing. Loser pays.

Your reference to a previous sporting encounter between our two countries puzzles me. Since the history of English football is long and extensive, in contradistinction to US soccer, I regret that I cannot immediately recall the encounter to which you refer. No doubt it is remembered fondly on these shores; we have quite forgotten it, however.

Are you sure you want to do this?

Yours sincerely, Martin Longden British Embassy Washington DC
________________________________
From: Philip Breeden, US Embassy London
To: Martin Longden, British Embassy Washington DC
Subject: Re: World Cup Bet

Mr. Longden ,

It is with great pleasure, and no small measure of anticipation, that the U.S. Ambassador accepts the terms of the wager. I am surprised, given the well known love of the British for history, that you have forgotten what happened the last time the “special relationship” was tested on the pitch. Of course, given the result, you are to be forgiven for having misplaced that particular episode in your memory banks. I refer of course to the victory of the U.S. over England in the 1950 World Cup.

It is true that our soccer (a fine English word we have kindly preserved for you) history is not as long and illustrious as yours. However, as your generals noted during WWII, we have a unique capability for quickly identifying and advancing talent.

Game on!

Sincerely, Philip Breeden
________________________________
From: Martin Longden, British Embassy Washington DC
To: Philip Breeden, US Embassy London
Subject: Re: World Cup Bet

Mr. Breeden,

Very well; it’s a bet!

Incidentally, you should know that the Ambassador takes his steak like American soccer victories – somewhat rare.

Sincerely,

Martin Longden

H/T to That's Just Peachy for the link

Just a little additional information. This is your United States World Cup team.

Obama Not Welcome In South Africa

For those that don't know it the World Cup is scheduled to kick off in South Africa in June. For the rest of the world this is probably the premier athletic event, outside of the Olympics.

Well, some officials are hoping for an early departure of the United States team to avoid having Obama coming over for a visit. Security is already a big issue for the World Cup due to the host nation not only having a brewing civil war, but also because of the unrest in the African countries around it. Several countries which have had games on the African continent have been attacked and some of them have had players and coaches killed or wounded. To say tensions are high would be an understatement.

South Africa's police commissioner says he hopes the United States is knocked out of the World Cup in the first round to avoid the massive security challenge of a visit by President Barack Obama.

General Bheki Cele told parliament in Cape Town on Friday it was "50-50" whether Obama would visit Africa's first World Cup, but they had been told that if the U.S. team makes the knockout stages Obama might jet in.

Cele said: "Our famous prayer is that the Americans don't make the second round. (That) They get eliminated and they go home."

Ahhhhh, feel the love. So glad the world loves us now in this era of Obama.

ESPN: All Obama, All the Time

You can't even tune in to a sports network to avoid the ubiquitous presence of Barack Obama. For several months now ESPN has been gushing over Obama making NCAA picks and more recently relentlessly "reported" that Obama liked the Lakers in six over the Magic. Funny, but I missed the update on that after LA won in five.

Anyway, with Iran in turmoil and the North Koreans threatening to light up his home state for the Fourth of July, ESPN today announced Obama's sports viewing for next June.

U.S. President Barack Obama has accepted an invitation to attend the opening ceremony of the World Cup finals in South Africa next year, FIFA president Sepp Blatter said on Monday.

President Obama, whose late father was Kenyan, has indicated he will attend the event on June 11 next year when the first World Cup to be staged on African soil begins.

Blatter told a media briefing: "The World Cup in Africa will go well, there is no doubt.

Of course ESPN is owned by ABC, which is now owned by the White House, so I guess if you like tuning in there but can't stand Obama, it might be time to find alternate viewing.

The way things are going, a year from now it'll probably be a good idea if Obama leaves the country.