'I Am Engaged to Barack Obama'

Oooh, keep the bike helmet on, Baracky

Amazing, isn't it? The guy can't keep lunatics off his website, seemingly every good friend and spiritual mentor of his has been tossed under a very crowded bus, he can't get his facts straight on simple issues, but he somehow manages to find time to exchange intimate emails with a Hollywood airhead?

This is getting pretty pathetic. First, this Illinois yahoo Barack Obama, who beat Alan Keyes of all people for the Senate job, waltzes into that chamber and usurps the Democratic presidential nomination that was to be Hillary Clinton's by rights.

Then he raises all this money, nearly a quarter-billion or something.

And now? Now, he's got Scarlett Johansson whipped over him. Give us a break here. Like, where's the fairness in any of this?

The guy rides a bicycle around in public in one of those goofy-looking but really, really safe helmets that legislators who don't ride bikes have declared that everyone must wear. Next thing you know they'll say we can't talk on cellphones while driving.

And Obama bowls like a Martian. And golfs like he's weed-whacking. And Scarlett falls for him.

Unbelievable. Anyway, here's Scarlett talking over on our sister blog The Dish Rag, which she isn't:

"I am engaged to Barack Obama. My heart belongs to Barack." Doesn't that make you sick? She's doing a lot of campaigning for him and everything.

She's not the only one, apparently. We may have another Obama Girl to keep an eye out for.

How long until a scowling Michelle Obama gives him a fist bump of fury and tosses him under the bus?