Revealed: Brutal Club Gitmo 'Torture' Techniques

Thank goodness Barack Obama has restored our image around the world. Considering these harsh interrogation tactics, he's got a lot of fences to mend with the international community.

Was the theme to "Sesame Street" really played to torture prisoners held at Guantanamo and other detention camps? What about Don McLean's "American Pie"? Or the Meow Mix jingle? Bruce Springsteen's "Born in the U.S.A."?

What, no Barney? No Wonder Pets? Making them watch Boohbah?

Seriously, though, what we find interesting about this story is here we have a sanctimonious brigade of musicians so outraged and offended that we would subject these monsters who don't even allow people to listen to music to be subjected to such inhumane treatment by audio.

A high-profile coalition of artists -- including the members of Pearl Jam, R.E.M. and the Roots -- demanded Thursday that the government release the names of all the songs that were blasted since 2002 at prisoners for hours, even days, on end, to try to coerce cooperation or as a method of punishment.

Dozens of musicians endorsed a Freedom of Information Act request filed by the National Security Archive, a Washington-based independent research institute, seeking the declassification of all records related to the use of music in interrogation practices. The artists also launched a formal protest of the use of music in conjunction with torture.

"I think every musician should be involved," said Rosanne Cash in a telephone interview Wednesday. "It seems so obvious. Music should never be used as torture." The singer-songwriter (and daughter of Johnny Cash) said she reacted with "absolute disgust" when she heard of the practice. "It's beyond the pale. It's hard to even think about."

It's hard to even think about!

I can only imagine the indignities Ms. Cash would suffer if something bad ever really happened to her, like getting a parking ticket. Still, she comes off looking stable. Check out these weaklings.

Other musicians, including Trent Reznor of Nine Inch Nails and Tom Morello, formerly of the band Rage Against the Machine, also expressed outrage.

"The fact that music I helped create was used in crimes against humanity sickens me," Morello said in a statement. "We need to end torture and close Guantanamo now."

Crimes against humanity? Huh?

A White House spokesman said music is no longer used as an instrument of torture, part of a shift in policy on interrogations that Obama made on his second full day in office.

Thank goodness. I'd hate to see one more crime against humanity in the form of a Mew Mix commercial ever again be committed.

It's too difficult to even think about.

Also revealed was perhaps the most brutal interrogation method known to man.

Another former prisoner, Binyam Mohamed, told Human Rights Watch that he had been forced to listen to the rapper Eminem's song "The Real Slim Shady" for 20 days.