'I'm Not Going to Have Sex Until I'm Married. I Can Guarantee It'

That sound you hear in the distance is Andrew Sullivan's head exploding. Not just for this proclamation from Bristol Palin, mind you, but for the mount of green she and her mother are pulling in.

Sarah Palin and her daughter, Bristol, earned an eye-popping $100,000 for their new In Touch Weekly cover, sources say. For just eight hours' work at her own home, Palin pocketed nearly as much as her $125,000-a-year salary as Alaska governor. It seems her decision to quit her political role is making big financial sense. Palin also reportedly earns $100,000 per public-speaking engagement, while she has a multiyear deal as a Fox News Channel analyst. Reps for the magazine and Palin refused to comment on the deal. But in a classic example of closing the stable door after the horse has bolted, Bristol -- who gave birth to son Tripp in 2008 after a brief liaison with Playgirl-posing flop Levi Johnston -- told In Touch the experience has made her a born-again virgin and announced, "I'm not going to have sex until I'm married. I can guarantee it."