Saturday, April 02, 2011

Great News: The Internet Will Destroy the Planet

Now how exactly will Al Gore's masterful invention go about destroying the planet? Why, by giving climate change "deniers" a voice to oppose the environmental wackos.
The planet may not be so lucky. It's increasingly apparent that the internet may bring about the death of human civilisation, beating out previous contenders such as nuclear holocaust and the election of George W. Bush.

The agents of this planetary death will be the climate-change deniers who, it's now clear, owe much of their existence to the internet. Would the climate-change deniers be this sure of themselves without the internet?

Somehow I doubt it. They are so damn confident.

They don't just bury their heads in the sand, they fiercely drive their own heads energetically into the nearest beachfront, their bums defiantly aquiver as they fart their toxic message to the world. How can they be so confident, in the face of so much evidence to the contrary?

It's the internet, of course, and the way it has given climate-change deniers the perfect forum — one in which groups of quite dim people can swap spurious information, reassuring each other there's no evidence on the other side, right up to the point they've derailed all efforts to save the planet. Call it ''mutually reassured destruction''.

In decades past, the climate-change deniers would have swapped theories in the pub or at a barbecue. But at the barbecue there was always one person willing to put a contrary view, to say: ''There's another side.'' And unless the barbecue was particularly nutty, there was no one handing out gestetnered sheets of dodgy science for people to take home.

The net allows the climate-change deniers to bleat about the scientists and whine about a price on carbon without fear of ever hearing a different voice, right up to the point of planetary collapse. To reformulate T.S. Eliot: ''This is the way the world will end — not with a bang but a whinger.''
On the upside, when it all does end it'll spare of from reading nonsense like that.


FrankG said...

basically: "it's unfair that people should be able to have thoughts outside our accepted groupthink."  AGW asshats like these need to be reminded that we know they're full of sh1t and won't  be silenced

david said...

I think we should just let India and China burn all the fossil fuel ....only a few billion of them.  We just need to destroy our economies to take the lead...I am sure they will follow....they respect us so much.  We really must start selling carbon offsets to save the planet...

Ramblings From a Young American said...

Your fervant, empty bellowing is why we can't have nice things.

zeezil said...

Climate chnage has been occurring for 4.5 billion years. What's man been here for? Maybe 1/thousandth of one percent of that time? 'Nuf said.

Chris said...

If the science is as solid as they say, nobody could undermine, even if they have a million websited.


Rajabesar said...

Ha ha..
The internet *may* "kill" something however it will more likely be the deliberate disinformation perpetrated by the "global warming" crowd and therefore adversely affect the new age profit of the Algores of the world. Hmmm, wonder why I am not alarmed? 

Bonfire of the Idiocies said...

It'll be worth it if it gets these whiners to STFU.

Loren Ibsen said...

"And so those mindless beasts of the subconscious had access to a machine that could never be shut down. The secret devil of every soul on the planet all set free at once to loot and maim."

Rocketman said...

<span>"spurious information" = Truth</span>
I dint go ta Hahvahd, but I done figgered that out all by meself.

Had Pastor Algore and his Church of East Anglia latched onto the <span>"global cooling"</span> craze of the 70s, how would they have developed a pyramid scheme to defraud their flock and us? Tax air conditioning units? Refuse to put them (AC units) in vehicles and tell us to use "Tijuana Air Conditioning"? That'd be wind wings (windows) for you youngins. But wait! They haven't built wind wings into cars for decades.
Hmmmmmmm ...

Senate testimony - 1978
Senator Blofeld: "So, Dr. Gore, just how would you warm the planet by growing even more tobacco than you already do?"
Dr. Algore: "That's above my paygrade", but I'll tell ya this - if more people smoked, the heat from all those cigarettes, cigars, and pipes would certainly help warm the planet. I'm just guessing of course. I have to invent the InterTubes and become Vice President first. Then I'll share my scheme, er, plan with all of my faithful followers. I'll give you a hint though - it has to do with the price of tobacco necessarily skyrocketing!" Bwahahahahahahahaha ...

Dr. Algore and his psychophants (yes, I know) seem to believe that too much information is all of a sudden unhealthy for us. Maybe he can team up with Moochelle and devise another plan to protect us from ourselves!

Yo, Albert ... How's that nifty new Chevy Volt workin' out fer ya?


Melvin Harris said...


Great quote from Forbidden Planet

ferd berple said...

I lived in Muslim countries for 10 years.  Their politicians blame their bad planning on the West.  In the West, our politicians used to blame the failures of their planning on Communists.  Or, if you live outside of the USA, the americans.  But after the fall of the Soviet Union that excuse pretty much dried up. 

So, now the new boogey man is climate.  All the failures of politicians can be explained as due to climate problems.  And the cause of climate problems?  Not politicians at all.  It is caused by all the rest of us driving around in cars.  When we were growing up we were told the bad weather was caused by nuclear testing.  They we were told it was caused by pollution from China.  Remember the Asian Haze of '97?
Now politicians the world over have the ultimate excuse.  Climate change cuased by the working people of the world.  Perfect.  No matter what goes wrong, we have caused it.  It is the politicians that will save us.

Open up the dam and flood Brisbane, it doesn't matter that there was a faulty cauculationof rainfall.  It is too late to fix that anyways, and dams are expensive to build.  Much simpler to blame it on the latest boogey man, Climate Change.

Be good, or the boogey man will get you.