'I Did Not Say Barry Manilow Is a Weapon of Mass Destruction'

Seems to me this has been tried before with mixed results. Probably works well on detainees at Club Gitmo.

Teenagers, though, are a bit more resilient.

It'll be Barry Manilow versus the mall rats. The New Zealand city of Christchurch hopes that putting the American crooner's smooth and gentle tones into the mix of music to be broadcast through the central mall district can pacify unruly teens who congregate there, or at least convince them to go elsewhere.

"The intention is to change the environment in a positive way ... so nobody feels threatened or intimidated," Central City Business Association manager Paul Lonsdale told The Associated Press. "I did not say Barry Manilow is a weapon of mass destruction."

A group of several dozen young people regularly spread rubbish, spray graffiti, get intoxicated, use drugs, swear and intimidate patrons at the outdoor mall, he said.

The city council, police and local property owners covering 410 businesses agree that "nice, easy listening" music like Manilow's "Can't Smile Without You," "Mandy" and other hits might change the behavior of loitering teens.

Good luck with that.

Maybe they should try high-powered firehoses.

Cruel and Unusual Punishment: Noise Violators Forced to Listen to Manilow, Barney

This could be harsher than a trip to Club Gitmo.

Barry Manilow's "I Write the Songs" may begin with the line, "I've been alive forever,"' but for noise ordinance violators, listening to Manilow may feel like forever.

Fort Lupton Municipal Judge Paul Sacco says his novel punishment of forcing noise violators to listen to music they don't like for one hour has cut down on the number of repeat offenders in this northwestern Colorado prairie town.

About four times a year, those who plead guilty to noise ordinance violations are required to sit in a room and listen to music from the likes of Manilow, Barney the Dinosaur, and The Platters' crooning "Only You".

They should try forcing them to sit through repeated airings of that annoying Subway "Five Dollar" commercial as well. That must have aired about 30 times during football yesterday.

Cruel and Unusual Punishment: 'Manilow Method' for Teens

This would probably work on most adults, nevermind teenagers. I know I'd behave if threatened with such harsh punishment.

LOCAL government authorities are considering a Sydney council's "Manilow method" for dispersing unruly teenagers as an option for tackling anti-social behaviour in Britain.

Campaigners this week called for a ban on a device in use across the UK known as The Mosquito, which emits a high-pitched tone audible only to the young.

Local Government Association (LGA) head of news Richard Stokoe said his organisation was examining an alternative, introduced by Rockdale Council in 2006.

The council, in Sydney's southern suburbs, played Barry Manilow tunes over loudspeakers to stop youths hanging around.

"We were looking at how we can replace one high-pitched, weedily noise with another high-pitched weedily noise and we came up with Barry Manilow," Mr Stokoe said.

If that doesn't work, may I suggest some Barbra Streisand (photos may work as well) and a shrill speech from Mrs. Clinton.