This Exists: CDC Warns of Zombie Apocalypse

Certain other bloggers that I read regularly often post about a pending zombie apocalypse, and for the most part I simply ignored their gloom and doom predictions, but couple this warning from the CDC with the scheduled end of the world event this weekend and well.....

"There are all kinds of emergencies out there that we can prepare for," the posting reads. "Take a zombie apocalypse for example. That's right, I said z-o-m-b-i-e a-p-o-c-a-l-y-p-s-e. You may laugh now, but when it happens you'll be happy you read this, and hey, maybe you'll even learn a thing or two about how to prepare for a real emergency."

The post, written by Assistant Surgeon General Ali Khan, instructs readers how to prepare for "flesh-eating zombies" much like how they appeared in Hollywood hits like "Night of the Living Dead" and video games like Resident Evil. Perhaps surprisingly, the same steps you'd take in preparation for an onslaught of ravenous monsters are similar to those suggested in advance of a hurricane or pandemic.

I guess it's true. He who laughs last laughs loudest.

Zombie's Footprint Theory of Life

So many footprints, so little time. After reading this all I want to do is stick my footprint up Al Gore's ass for making so many people feel guilty for breathing.

Every time you inhale, you’re using up oxygen. Think about it: What right do you have to all that oxygen? There’s only a limited amount of it in the biosphere, and once we use it all up — we’re all going to suffocate. So every breath you take is a breath you’re stealing from someone else in the future. Eventually, all the oxygen will be gone, and so it should be treated as our most precious resource. And yet everyone breathes in and out 24 hours day without giving it a second thought!

Furthermore, the oxygen in our atmosphere is produced by plants, and thus rightly belongs to those plants. Who was it that said that the workers should own the products of their labor? And yet here we come along, like the exploitative factory owners and capitalists of yore, and seize the oxygen from the plants without permission or compensation, and use it for our own benefit and enrichment.

How to solve this dilemma? You want to lower your oxygen footprint, but still find yourself feeling this overwhelming urge to inhale every time you stop breathing. (Trust me on this — I’ve tried it.) One answer can be found in the practice of yoga; leading yogis have so mastered the art of breath control that they can raise or lower their heart rate and breathing rate at will. With sufficient concentration, you can practically send yourself into hibernation, where your oxygen footprint will be at a minimum.

If you’re uncomfortable with the religious overtones of yoga and yet still want to achieve the same effect, you can simply stop moving around so much. That’s right — stay still, and relax. Chill. The more stuff you do, the more oxygen your body requires. So the answer is simple: Stop doing things!

You could also try only breathing in the contents of helium balloons and giving yourself a little squeaky voice, but that would entail raising your helium footprint, so I’m a little conflicted about that option.

Read the whole thing. It's amazing how many footprints we actually have.

It's Official - Georgia Is Zombieland

Consider this a sort of public safety notice and especially a message to Ace, who loves all things zombie.

Two recent movies now out in the theaters are "Zombieland" and "Halloween II" and both were filmed in Georgia and both relied on one of our local haunted house attractions for help with costumes and makeup and even acting lessons on how to be a zombie.

Ben Armstrong is the co-owner of Netherworld. Among other things, he acted as a zombie expert for Zombieland.

"I taught a class on zombie behavior. I kind of wrote a little treatment," he said. "You have to think about what your whole face and body are doing. They [zombies] are kind of blind and sniffing around, and not knowing what was going on. Then they would sniff their prey and just distort into this attack mode and go absolutely crazy."

Besides the movies, during the recent Dragoncon convention here in Atlanta the participants also tried to set a new world record for the most folks in doing a recreation of the zombie dance from the video "Thriller". We are being over run by zombies I tell 'ya.

zombie's America

No, he doesn't have too much time on his hands.

But some may believe otherwise because Orlando at FortHardKnox has created a nifty little video presentation for us all that is aptly titled,

zombie's America
Great job Orlando!

The species lunaticus moonbaticae will surely love you for the extra publicity generated for their cause.