Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Tara Conner: The Saga Continues

I'll admit I have a soft spot for the poor girl. After all, she's just a naive country girl overwhelmed by the big city (OK, I'm being sarcastic; just play along). But since we're always told not to be so judgmental, who are we to deny Tara a second chance? So this comes off as a big Trump PR scam. What do you expect from him? Now, if someone could just send Trump to the Hair Club for Men, or at least a barber. Dude, you're filthy rich. Get a haircut already.

Anyway, back to Tara. Andrea Peyser in the New York Post pulls out the long knives and rips her to shreds. How mean-spirited.
WITH her delicate breast heaving softly and her tears scattering like rose petals, Miss USA vowed that - from this day forward - she'll keep her nose clean.

And her urine sweet.

And - to employ my current favorite euphemism - her cooch untouched by human hands.

Miss USA has been saved. God bless Donald Trump!

Tara Conner, who just turned 21, will be allowed, after all, to keep her platinum- and jewel-encrusted Miss USA tiara. That is, provided she can keep on the majority of her clothes.

In a deal brokered between Trump and the strumpet, Tara will take a cleansing route that has been traveled by the likes of Courtney Love and Mel Gibson.

She's going into rehab.

"I have an open heart!" Tara burbled, as she stood before hundreds of the nation's finest media minds, and even more camera-toting tourists, in the glittering Trump Tower atrium.

Unfortunately, her heart is not the organ in need of closing.

But who am I to judge? Oh, right.

Tara was sold to us yesterday as a small-town creature who hit it big on the pageant circuit - only to fail to get out of bed once she'd been seduced by the big city.

Read the rest.

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