Sunday, October 21, 2007

NFL Week 7

We managed a grand total of five wins in Week 6, coming in at 5-6-2 and bringing the 2007 ledger to 31-50-7.

It's enough to make someone drink 14 Ketel One Bloody Mary's. That moment of glory touched off a really fascinating week for the insane left.

As always, these picks are for recreational purposes and should not be used as the basis for any actual cash wagers.

GIANTS -9 49ers: The Bay Area was cloaked in glory this when Democrat cretin Fortney Stark claimed President Bush enjoyed seeing soldiers killed. Nancy Pelosi hopes the Niners win one for the children. Giants 34-21

REDSKINS -8.5 Cardinals: Two words of advice for anyone thinking of riding the Cards: Tim Rattay. Redskins 31-14

SAINTS -9 Falcons: Good news for Louisiana this week. The Saints finally won a game and they now have a competent governor. Saints 37-17

BILLS +3 Ravens: Mrs. Clinton sure raised a lot of money in Chinatown. Now she'll be shaking down every wing joint in Western New York. Bills 17-16

Patriots -16.5 DOLPHINS: Good news, Fish fans! Your team is leaving the country soon. Patriots 48-7

LIONS -2 Buccaneers: Did you know Tampa was in South Florida? Neither did I. Lions 27-24

Titans -1.5 TEXANS: Even without Vince Young, we're inclined to go with Tennessee because all they do is cover. And, of course, Planetary Poobah Al Gore is from there. Titans 20-17

BENGALS -6.5 Jets: Both squads going nowhere fast. Bengals so bad, Ocho Cinco says he doesn't even have a cheesy end zone celebration planned. Bengals 31-16

Chiefs +2.5 RAIDERS: By this time last Sunday, Randi Rhodes had already sucked down a half dozen Bloody Mary's. It was called breakfast. Chiefs 27-24

Vikings +9.5 COWBOYS: By the time Tom Brady was finished dispensing punishment last Sunday, the Cowboys looked worse than Rhodes after that faceplant outside a New York tavern. Adrian Peterson stops by this week and runs wild. Cowboys 27-21

EAGLES -5.5 Bears: Last week, I disregarded Midwest Correspondent 3 wood's advice, so to make up for it, he makes this pick: "The Bears offensive line has gotten real old and bad very quickly. The Eagles defense and offense are both better than the Bears, the game is in Philly, so it will be close for a while but I look for the Eagles to pull away and take the game by at least 10 points." Eagles 31-21

SEAHAWKS -8.5 Rams: Who looks worse, me for picking the Rams last week or Harry Reid for trying to glom on to Rush Limbaugh's charity auction? Seahawks 38-3

Steelers -3.5 BRONCOS: On the bright side, it's still baseball season in the Rockies. As always, The Olbermann rule is in effect. Steelers 26-14

JAGUARS +3 Colts: Can't expect Jags to run for 375 yards like they did in Indy's last visit, but they match up well and will be pumped up in primetime. Jaguars 24-23

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