Friday, March 28, 2008

Godzilla's Sketchy Nuptials

A rather strange announcement from New York Yankees slugger Hideki Matsui.
"Godzilla" has taken a bride.

Yankee slugger Hideki Matsui stunned his fans and teammates Thursday when he revealed he secretly wed a longtime girlfriend at a New York City chapel.

"I met somebody who felt right. That was it," the 33-year-old outfielder said upon returning to the Bombers' spring training camp in Tampa.

Matsui refused to reveal many details about Wednesday's wedding or his new wife, only saying she is 25 and from Japan, where she formerly worked "in a reputable position at a highly respected company."

He is so secretive about his wife's identity that he held up a drawing of her, rather than a photo, at a press conference where he showed off the silver band on his left hand.

"I have decided to spend my whole life with her," said Matsui, considered the most eligible bachelor in his native Japan.

As teammates congratulated him, Yankee captain Derek Jeter and outfielder Bobby Abreu claimed they were conned into a bet by the newlywed slugger.
Don't expect to see Derek Jeter walking down the aisle any time soon. Do I even need to explain that to anyone?

Meanwhile, this little nugget jumped off the page.
Matsui, also known back home for his large collection of porn films, said he and his wife have been planning their wedding for a year. He began dating her during the 2006-07 off-season. He said the nuptials took place in New York City at an undisclosed chapel.
Large collection of porn films?


And boy, do they mean large.
Take porn, for instance. While porn is not publicly displayed, every fakir worth his rod has a vast all-inclusive personal museum of deviance that would make Casanova blush. For comparison’s sake, according to Sports Illustrated, Yankee outfielder Hideki Matsui has 55,000 distinct items in his porn collection.
Hello! 55,000 distinct items? How does this man find the time to play baseball?

Update: Thanks to Hot Air and Ace of Spades HQ for the links.

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