Friday, July 29, 2011

Deranged Chavez Plans to Stay in Office Until 2031

Considering he'll probably soon be dead, this ought to be quite a feat.
Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez sang, danced and said he intends to stay in power for two more decades as he celebrated his 57th birthday looking ahead to months of cancer treatment.

Chavez rallied a crowd of cheering supporters from the balcony of the presidential palace on Thursday, waving a large Venezuelan flag and briefly wrapping himself in it. He said he expects to lose his hair soon as a result of chemotherapy and that a long process of treatment lies ahead.

"This is going to be various months all of this year, but I'm going to continue in charge of my government functions," Chavez said.

He mixed serious statements about his upcoming treatment with the ecstatic rallying cries of a leader already in pre-campaign mode ahead of elections to be held in late 2012.

"Next year, we will win the presidential elections once again! Strength, unity!" Chavez said. Setting a goal he has never before reached, he said: "We're going for 10 million votes next year!"

The crowd chanted: "Oh, no! Chavez won't go!"

Chavez sang and danced briefly with one his daughters on the balcony while a band below played folk music. He saluted to the crowd and blew kisses, standing next to three grandchildren.

His supporters sang while sparkling candles burned atop a giant birthday cake.

"I invite you all to celebrate my 77th," Chavez said. "I had said I'd leave in 2021. Well, I'm not going away in 2021 or anything. Maybe in 2031."

2 comments:

Michael Ryan said...

Maybe he'll 'stay in office' the way they kept Lenin around.

FrankG said...

I hope his grave is public, so the citizens have a new public bathroom